As you may know, Landsbanki, one of the three former Icelandic commercial banks, left a few billion euros in uninsured deposits lying around, when it collapsed in ignomy.
Mostly in the UK and Netherlands.
The Dutch are getting irate about this...
For perspective, shortly after Landsbanki was privatized, in 2003, as I recall, I closed my account there in 2004 - I had had that account for about 30 years, and closing it was a significant inconvenience.
Y'all should have done as I did.
Anyway, through the gross incompetence of the Icelandic National Bank and various regulators, Iceland effectively assumed sovereign responsibility for this pile of crap,
though the agreement to actually do so has NOT been ratified by Alþingi, yet.
For comparison, scaling to GDP, this is like the US government letting, say, Citibank collapse, and then declaring the FDIC would cover $3-6 Trillion in uninsured Chinese individual and commercial deposits. To be paid in yuan.
So, now some Niðurlendingar have taken exception and issued some demands... - all over a piddling 1.3 billion euros or so, barely $2 billion.
That's just "walk around money" for our exiled Expansion Viking Financiers on their Dragon Yachts down in Cannes.
So, the demands:
1) Iceland should apologise to Nigeria, withdraw its EU application, and go look for some money.
OK
2) The guilty parties, like certain ex-bankers, should be handed over for trial at den Haag, or just be crucified upside down in the central square in Reykjavík.
Fair cop, guv. We can do that.
3) Government of Iceland should visit UK and NL and apologise in person to all those who lost their savings.
Sure. They really don't have much of anything better to do. We'd send the actually culpable ex-government, but they'll probably be busy at the Haag, or hangin' out in Reykjavík...
4) Iceland should provide a payment plan.
If this is not acceptable, the flow to our "geysir's" will be cut off.
Sounds reasonable...
5) If we fail, Invasion!
Sure... wahtevah.
Wait!
Did you say "turn off the water to Geysir"?
Unlimited hot water is what makes life worth living, as the romans knew so well,
do not touch our hverir!
THIS MEANS WAR!
Diplomacy has already failed...
Just to be fair - we'll give you
one free shot! As the aggrieved party.
Make it count.
Then your luchtmobiele brigade will be crushed by weather and vættir,
or, you know, we may call back the exiles and let them do some air piracy
Icelandic ex-bankers fly in style...
and our mighty coastguard
(we don't have a navy, silly!)
will spank your Walrusboats like they were '70s Royal Navy frigates...
Then, as the song says, we will form up in our ranks and march, never yielding.
Marchons, Marchons!
Fram! Fram!
To the bitter end...
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