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... from his position as Chair of the DSCC. The motto of the DSCC is "Committed to Electing a Democratic Senate." Just now, there was one ... ONE!!!!!! ... race in play. One that would be hard to lose. One that would be disastrous to lose.
Bob. Menendez. Needs. To. Resign. Now.
It has come to our attention here at Pole Headquarters that something disastrous is occurring in regards to the Earth. It seems that there have been too many bad little boys and girls polluting the atmosphere with the byproducts of carbon fuels, causing world temperatures to rise.
I have been disastrously distracted, and the thread to end all threads is overdue for a reset. Contemplate this: a 23 year old Steve Jobs about to appear on television…and he's nervous.
Boo hoo, Fox News is reporting a new wave of disastrous economic news: the churches are going bankrupt and closing up shop.
I think that the George W. Bush disaster is guaranteed to be over. We will have to find someone else to blame for everything that we are doing to our fellow Americans, to other countries, and to the planet.
Sometimes The Onion's work is so close to reality that it is scary and hard to separate from satire. Like the Landover Baptist Church and its affiliated sites, it is easy to mistake for a real news site if one doesn't pay close attention.
My worry is that if we have a new McCain presidency, the long national satire nightmare may not be over for another four years or more (depending on who the Veep is.)
In a way, I feel sad for him, with the eyes of the whole world watching his next desastrous move. I mean really, it is humiliating to be remembered in history for doing bad things. Unfortunately, he can't remain unaccountable, and he must suffer the consequences.