I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set I go into the other room and read a book.
- Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
- Groucho Marx
There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
- Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx, 1890 - 1977
The Nielsen Haydens filled my morning with horror, so I'm going to make you suffer, too. Behold, a Danish disco band pretending to be Apaches:
I suppose Groucho didn't need to plunk down a pot of coffee every morning after staying up late to watch the Olympics.
Lousy NBC tape delay...