I actually care little about Paris Hilton's antics. I find it difficult to become interested in someone's career when the origins of that career are based on a sex tape that shows that she performs oral sex poorly. There I said it. I have seen that tape, and Paris Hilton is not gifted. Not that anyone was describing Paris Hilton as gifted in any regard. In my opinion, the only reason she isn't riding the short bus is that Daddy has a bagillion dollars.
However, I did not bring you together today to talk about Paris's limited mental acumen. Rather I have a more productive proposal. In every generation in our society, there appears to be a woman who is willing to go sexually and publicly (often simultaneously) where no woman has gone before. A woman who is willing to challenge convention through continued acts of sexual brinksmanship. In previous generations it was women like Marilyn Monroe and Mae West. Today, we have Paris Hilton.
Hell, Paris Hilton is already comparing herself to Marilyn Monroe:
"There's nobody in the world like me," she told the UK's Sunday Times. "I think every decade has an iconic blonde -- like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana -- and right now, I'm that icon."
Hilton boasted about her knack for trading on her famous name.
"There's a lot of heiresses out there and I don't see any of them doing what I've done. It's Paris Hilton plc, baby! I have so many projects -- bags, fragrances, make-up," she said. "I go round the world every three days, designing and personally approving it all. I've got movies to make, a tour, TV shows. Every day of my life is scheduled until the end of 2007."
(Just wait...she is like two minutes from comparing herself to Jesus.)
Now, I am not saying that Paris Hilton is anywhere near the quality for this of a Marilyn Monroe. All that I am saying is that we have need for women of this type in our society. It is cathartic. It convinces us that we are less prudish that we are without personally having to galavant around naked in public.
So here is my idea. I think we should make this a sort of public elected office -- a public position of Woman of Loose Morals. (I had wanted to call it something else including a four-letter word starting with S, but this is mixed company.)
We could have elections every 4 years, and interested women could run by trying to one-up one another through acts of incredible inappropriateness. And this plan has benefits. Think of the improvements in quality that we could expect when this is a competitive office. Think of the possibilities for National Honor knowing that our Public Woman of Loose Morals has by far looser morals than any other country on Earth.
It makes you proud to be an American (tear).
Comments?
Hat-tip: WWTDD.
(Oh and I know this isn't science, but man -- particularly this one -- cannot live on science alone.)
- Log in to post comments
As a woman who has never rode the short bus, and never needed to trade on my looks to get anything, I find it sickening that intelligent people would think that there's a place "for women of this type in our society." No, in fact, there isn't. Any more than there should be racial, relgious, or any other kinds of exploititive stereotypes---despite how much society may "enjoy" them, they are still the choices of the lowest common denominator. I would like to see society move away from that kind of thinking rather than embrace a symbol of vacuous, empty femininity. It cheapens us all.
Apparently you have failed to see my irony...
Errrrr, hmmm I guess so.
Well then if it was meant to be ironic, very sorry for the blast. Kinda having a bad day over here and I do get a little sensitive about the whole dumb blonde thing. :)
I'm sorry you are having a bad day.
It should make you feel better though that I doubt with sincerity that most intelligent men find Paris Hilton attractive or associate her with blondes in general.
Actually the only reason I posted this is because it is a source of continuing consternation for me that Paris Hilton continues to get contracts. How on God's Earth is this woman getting work!?
Of course we do have such elected people. Look at all the American Idol/Rock Star/Lawn Mower contests on TV. We used to depend on people to record a few albums first to become a celebrity. In the 21st century we can't even wait that long: here is your celebrity de jour! Now, go and worship him/her.
I'm sorry you were being ironic. Because (ironically?) I think the quality of such a contest would far exceed that of the current crop of "biggest idiot" TV shows. I mean, it takes a certain talent to be that far out, and most of the shows now are based less on talent than on willingness to make a fool of yourself.
Think for a second about how you would go about winning such a contest, for instance. Would the contest be restricted to sexual behaviour, or would other sorts of immorality be acceptable - could Ken Lay win, or is lack of morals not the same as loose morals?
Maybe I should write an NRSA on this. It *might* actually get funding.
Guess you don't troll the bottom very often. Howard Stern has been mining this particular vein of low end sensationalism since the '80s. Granted, his TV show isn't exactly mainstream, but he is 'the king of all media', at least the last time I checked...
FWIW, many of the concepts for these shows start in either Japan or Europe - we just 'Mericanize' it for the masses.
Hang on folks, it's a race to the basement.