Dog

Look! How to Teach Physics to Your Dog is a real book: Emmy says, very seriously, "You will buy a copy, won't you?" Of course, like everything else in this house, SteelyKid had to grab a copy: She whipped through to the last page pretty fast: Emmy says "What'd you think, human puppy?" SteelyKid says "If I knew how to read, Daddy's book would be my favorite book ever. People who can read should definitely buy it." You heard the kid and the dog...
Sunday morning, Chateau Steelypips: Everybody's in the library. Why does SteelyKid look so pleased with herself, you ask? Because she's found a new game: On the bright side, Emmy's opinion of SteelyKid has moved beyond "grudging acceptance"...
"OK, thanks very much. I'll pick it up at six, or a little after." I hang up the phone. I can feel the dog's eyes on my back. "So what was that about?" she asks. "Oh, that was the Ford dealer," I say casually. "They're done with my car." The dashboard lit up like a Christmas tree a few days ago when I was leaving work-- all sorts of brake-related idiot lights, plus the odometer went completely blank. I spent the weekend driving a rented Kia. "What was wrong with it?" she asks, with exaggerated casualness. "Oh, you know, some problems with the wiring..." "What kind of problem with the wiring…
"Dude, we need to talk." "About what?" "Your priorities are all out of whack. I mean, everything is about your puppy these days-- puppy blogging, taking the puppy on trips, buying the puppy toys. You need to get back to basics." "Meaning what, exactly?" "Well, more me, obviously. Don't get me wrong, I like the puppy and all, especially when she feeds me Cheerios. But ask yourself, who pays the bills around here, hmm? Me or the puppy?" "So, you're saying you'd like to be more in the foreground?" "In a manner of speaking." "OK." "That's maybe a little more literal than I was talking about. But…
I've caught the intestinal thing that was making Kate's life miserable the last couple days, and the less said about that the better. Happily, my new camera arrived (Canon Rebel XSi/ 450D), giving me something to play with while I try to remain hydrated. And I have to say, it's a nice new toy: I didn't do anything to that other than cropping and scaling it (4272x2848 pixels being a bit much for the Web), and that turned out nice. I like this toy. Emmy is being remarkably patient with me, as I play with the various settings (of which there are many). The continuous-drive shots will wait until…
"So what do I need to do, again?" "First, you have to pick a username. So people know who you are." "OK. How about 'Emmy the Magnificent, Queen of Niskayuna and Surrounding Regions.' That should do the job." "Ah, no. That's 64 characters. Nobody would ever reply to you with a username that long. How about 'emmy_orzel'?" "You just want to get your name in there, and hog all the credit. How about 'Queen Emmy'?" "Fine, queen_emmy it is." "OK, so now what? When do I get bunnies?" "What bunnies? It's a Twitter account. There are no bunnies on Twitter." "Birds, then. This will help me catch…
I've got a couple more things to say about Unscientific America, probably, but I opted for some more David Foster Wallace last night, and don't feel like typing them up now, so I'll give you all a break. Anyway, what you're really here for is the baby and dog stuff, so here's another poll question from Emmy: Cats are(survey) (I think you should be able to choose multiple answers to this one, but I'm not 100% sure I set it up right.)
After a long baby-induced delay, we are finally ready to announce the winners of the How to Teach Physics to Your Dog Caption Contest and Poetry Contest. I've obtained a few more copies of the bound galleys from the publisher, so we'll be giving two awards in each contest category: one for each photo, one for Cuttlefish poetry, and one for non-Cuttlefish poetry. And the winners are: Photo 1: The award goes to Nick at #25: Photo 2: The award goes to Eric Goebelbecer at #8: Honorable Mention: Dave W. at #11 and Konrad at #30. Let's ask the judges what they thought: Chad: All three of the…
SteelyKid's nearly over her coxsackie virus, but has just enough spots left that we can't take her to day care. Which means another day of baby wrangling, and another poll question chosen by the dog: What is the biggest single threat to your household security?(surveys) Emmy is convinced that we're insufficiently serious about home defense.
"What are you doing?" "Hmm? Oh, I'm trying to think of a Dorky Poll question to post to the blog, because I'm going to be away from the computer for a while." "Why are they always human polls?" "Um, because the vast majority of my readers are human?" Yeah, but why don't I ever get to pick poll questions, huh?" "OK, fine. What's your question?" What are you chasing?(survey software)
There's an interview with me, plus bonus comments from Emmy, over at Paw Talk: Words of advice for fellow pet owners? If you're looking to get a dog, I'd recommend visiting your local animal shelter, as you can find lots of great dogs there. And take walks with your dog-- every now and then, I see people who just leave their dogs penned up in the yard, and that's just sad. Get out, see the neighborhood, and get a bit of exercise. Yeah, it's a drag sometimes, especially when it rains, but it's better for both of you. Emmy: Treats. Lots and lots of treats. Also, don't trust the squirrels. They'…
There once was a dog from Niskayuna... The previous post announced a photo caption contest for a chance to win an advance proof copy of my book, How to Teach Physics to Your Dog, six(-ish) months before it's available for purchase. I thought I should include something for the less visually inclined, though, and I do have two extra galley proofs, so... Announcing the Official How to Teach Physics to Your Dog Poetry contest. The idea is simple: write a short poem involving both dogs and physics in one of the usual short verse forms (haiku, limerick, double dactyl, whatever, as long as it has…
Today is six months to the day from the official release date of my book, How to Teach Physics to Your Dog. It feels like I ought to do something promotion-like to mark this date, and I have a couple of extra bound galley proofs (seen above with Emmy), sooo..... I hereby announce the first of two contests giving you, the blog reader, a chance to win an uncorrected galley proof copy of the book six months (ish) before you can buy it. The idea is simple: below the fold are two pictures that just cry out for amusing captions of some sort. The person who comes up with the best caption will get…
1) If you search Amazon for my name, you get four results: the book-in-production, two books where I'm mentioned in the acknowledgments, and a fourth book where I am apparently cited as a source for the "assume a spherical cow" joke. 2) Weirdly, I have a fan site, of sorts. I have no idea who's responsible for that. 3) The publicity copy on the inside cover of the bound galleys starts out: In the New York Times bestselling tradition of Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar, author Chad Orzel uses the seemingly ordinary-- a family pet-- to explore and explain the complex and deeply cool world…
I'm waiting for the toaster when the dog trots into the kitchen. "You should give me some bacon!" she says. "Why is that?" I ask. "To prevent swine flu!" "Look, there's no chance that I'm going to get swine flu from eating pork products. I know you saw some people on the Internet saying that they're not eating pork because of the flu, but those people are idiots." "Not you, silly," she says. "You should give me bacon so that I don't get swine flu." "What are you talking about?" It's much too early in the morning for this sort of thing. "It's like with the shots, at the Bad Place." She really…
I'd like to interrupt the ongoing discussion of how we're in the early chapters of The Stand for a quick question about what really matters: the cute behaviors of my dog. There's probably a technical term for that thing dogs do where their back legs twitch when you scratch them in just the right spot. I'm not sure what it would be, though-- Kate and I tend to use "reflex arc" as a shorthand, but when I was a kid it was described to me as the equivalent of tickling a dog, so I tend to think of it that way. Anyway, we give Emmy Advantix as a flea and tick preventative, which works really well.…
The dog comes into the office looking disgusted. "Well, you've really done it now, dude." "What? What did I do?" "You had to go and put a bird feeder in the front window, didn't you?" "What about it?" We put a thistle-seed feeder in front of the bay window in the living room, and I added a small regular feeder on impulse. They give SteelyKid something to look at outside. "It's attracted ninja squirrels." "Oh, come on." I say. "That's nothing compared to the ninja squirrel that was on YouTube a couple of years ago." "Not yet, it isn't. But you've opened the door. Soon, they'll be climbing…
Today is Easter, for those who celebrate it, and the end of Cadbury Egg season for those who don't. SteelyKid's grandparents and great-grandmother are coming to visit, because it's been weeks since they saw her cuteness in person. And that means minimal blogging today. Religious connotations aside, Easter is one of the cultural signposts of spring. And spring, of course, means the return of twittery birds, and bunnies: They're bunnies in the next yard over, right now, but there will be bunnies. Oh, yes, there will be bunnies. Happy Easter to those who celebrate it. The rest of you, enjoy…
I'm putting the finishing touches on Monday's lecture notes when the dog comes into the library, looking concerned. "Shouldn't I be doing something to promote the book?" she asks. "Since it won't be out for another nine months, I don't think it's that urgent." "But aren't there more Internetty things I could be doing?" "Well, you make regular appearances on the blog, and you've got plenty of friends on Facebook. I suppose you could Twitter." She draws herself up very haughtily. "I am a dog. I do not twitter." "Beg pardon?" "I'm not some stupid bird, fluttering around twittering all the time…
"OK, here's your profile."" "You used the good picture of me, right?" "Of course. Look here." "Oooh. I like that one. I look regal." "Yeah, I guess. So what do you want to add?" "What do you mean?" "Well, you can add applications, and become a fan of various things. Here, I'll make you a fan of Physics." "OK, but isn't there better stuff. How about steak? I like steak! Make me a fan of steak!" "Ummm... Well, there are over 500 results for 'steak.' Which do you want?" "All of them! Click them all!" "Why am I the one doing this again?" "Because I can't work the mouse." "All right, look, I'm…