Self-Aggrandizing "I Rank Number One on Google!" Meme

Something a little lighter after all that Watson-puke of recent days...

...The World's Fair's exceptional "I rank number one on google!" meme!!!!

I'd like to suggest a meme, where the premise is that you will attempt to find 5 statements, which if you were to type into google (preferably google.com, but we'll take the other country specific ones if need be), you'll find that you are returned with your blog as the number one hit...

To make it easier, we'll let you use a search statement enclosed in quotations - this is just to increase your chances of turning up as number one, but if you happen to have a website with the awesome traffic to command the same statement without quotations, then flaunt it baby! Of course, once you find your 5 statements, pass the meme on to others.

So, what are my five statements? You have to know that the first one is

1. Puke on his shoes

Which, I might add, brings up TSZ on google without the quotes, baby.

Next:

2. "James D. Watson Pens Second Historical Novel"

This phrase works:

3. "A Blog For All And No One"

though it brings up the old blog site rather than the new one.

4. Why There Are No Great Women Science Bloggers works and as a bonus, the second hit on google is Why Are There No Great Women Scientists?

5. and lastly, Researchers Claim Men Like Hot Women!

I used blog post titles as some of the search terms.

As Dr. Free-Ride notes:

Your search results, apparently, may totally vary depending on how you set your preferences and what you've searched for in the past. For example, biologists searching for "Sean Carroll" are reported to get results for the one who doesn't blog ahead of the one who does

I'm not tagging anybody, but you can play along if you want.

More like this

For Disability Studies, Temple U., these work (among others):

1. Torrance Treehouse
2. Terminator Elementary
3. "Talking to Preschoolers about Disability"
4. "Journals of Joseph Gousha"
5. "Assisted Suicide in Wharton"

Pinko commie islamofascist sympathiser.
Capacious handbag.
Scribbly thinky.
Nigella cheese on toast recipe.
Electroejaculator chimpanzee.

All without quotation marks. Variations on the last two are frequent Google search terms that bring people to my blog. I don't know which worries me more.

1. Surlier Texan
2. "Nerdy Sexy Librarian Fun"
3. Alexis the white girl with the butt
(this is an actual search someone used to land on my site - I have no idea what site they were actually looking for but could probably guess)
4. "oops is my face red" duh
5. frigging goddamn blows poo

Alright, this meme is old and long forgotten now, but I absolutely under no circumstances could pass up sharing this little nugget that I found in my server logs today. Apparently, my site was actually located by an individual using the following search, which of course has nothing to do with my site. I have not altered it in any way. Ssadly, after posting this here, Zuska's site will become the top result, but the sharing is so worth it.

Start search.

Saying (and not saying) "I love you" is so problematic because the words do so much more than communicate information about reality. This is why those three little words are the source of so much trouble. It is also an expression of intent to alter a social relationship If we reciprocate with "I love you, too," something happens immediately that changes our relationship to the other person. Suddenly the expectations and understandings that connect us shift. They add a level of responsibility, that is too dramatic for anyone to want." -anonymous ...so very true

End search.