A friend of mine (maybe YOU are that friend?) will be soon be leaving a job at Wackaloon Scientific Enterprises where said friend is supervised by sadistic micromanaging douchebags from hell with poor reading comprehension skills.
How best to spend the remaining time my friend must clock at WSE?
I suggest devoting large chunks of it to rearranging pipet tips in their boxes while singing some version of this song.
Oh it was sad,
Oh it was sad,
It was sad when the research went down to the journal.
All the postdocs and techs.
Little grad students lost their lives.
It was sad when the research went down.
Then when your time is up, shake off the dust under your feet, and blow out of Dodge.
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Heh, they should just watch DVDs. They can probably think up some legitimate sounding excuse for the headphones. Reminds me of a financial job that I had some decades ago ... the standard in the industry was to make people walk out the door the same day they handed in their resignation ... but they knew I hated the whole industry and had no intention of taking ideas to their competitors, so they made me wait out the 4 weeks of notice. Computer games were not as sophisticated back then, and there were no DVDS ...
My sad song today has been to the tune of "What do you get when you fall in love?"
The first verse goes:
What do you get when you write a grant?
Just a review from some old pundit
And after all, they'll never fund it
I'll never write a grant again.
I haven't bothered writing any other verses.
"friend is supervised by sadistic OCD micromanaging douchebags"
It's not to disagree with your post at all, or the sentiment it conveys, but just to pick up on a tangential point: "OCD" designates an actual mental health condition, and I don't think it's fair to use it as an insult, since that plays on the stigma that is attached to mental health conditions (in the same way that "retarded" as an insult plays on the stigma attached to cognitive disabilities). You've done well conveying the kind of person you mean with "sadistic", "micromanaging", and "douchebags".
Re-arrange pipette tips, link together all the paperclips (surprisingly obnoxious), and create new verses to "What do you do with a drunken sailor"
Old verses include "Put him in the longboat 'til he's sober", "Shave his chest with a rusty razor" and "Put him in the cabin with the captain's daughter". (The captain's daughter was also known as the cat-o-nine-tails, or the lash.)
Here's a suggestion: "Make him work with only p-2's."
That or YouTube.
IrrationalPoint, you have a very rational point indeed. I will delete it from the OP. My apologies.