The V-Day Post: Love, Sex, Marriage and Doom

I'm a bit short on time today, given that I told my boys that today is "smooch day" and Moms have to kiss their kids as much as possible. Since my boys are all deep in the "ewwww....kissing" phase this means that they are spending every spare minute following me around and daring me to try and kiss them. This is awesome because while they may be starting to outrun me, but I'm still wilier and trickier. So I didn't write a luuuuuvvv post - I'm busy being vewy vewy quiet, and hunting boys.... I have, however, written a few over the years, and I thought I'd put them up here:

You'll note, by the way, that I have very few posts about finding a partner. This isn't because I don't think this is a huge issue, it is because frankly, I don't think I have much advice to offer. The only times I've tried to play yenta failed miserably, and my basic sense is that I found Eric by sheer luck. I'm rooting for anyone who is looking for love - I just wish I knew how to help!

"Working Blue: Sex in a Depleted World"

Some serious thoughts about what makes a marriage sustainable.

Somewhat less serious thoughts on why stay together in a difficult future.

What are Eric and I doing for Valentines Day? Umm...saying "Oh, yeah, is it Valentines Day?" We're pretty happy at home these days, which is just another way of saying "boring and middle aged with kids." Still think he's the hottest thing since sliced bread, though, but that's an everyday thing.

Happy smooch day, everyone!



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Iâve been giving this a lot of thought lately, as my marriage has been failing for a long time. In Honduras I got the chance to observe how it works in a dysfunctional, poor, agrarian culture. What I saw was depressing. They donât let young people date at all, or ever have a private conversation, and then the parents canât understand why their daughters run off with young men they barely know. A mate who is not accepted by oneâs family for any reason (especially the big ones like race, gender, religion, age) would make life impossible. For women especially, the stakes are very high, and their choices are very limited.

I believe we are just past the peak of romance. For our grandchildren, I think expectations like lifelong love, fidelity, and good sex will seem like frivolous luxuries.

I think your observations, Brandie, arenât necessarily valid predictions. Nothing about an agricultural lifestyle implies a ban on dating, lack of sex, and so on. Social conservatism is not implied in agriculture. There are social effects, but it is hard to say what those may be. Perhaps agriculture spreads people out more, leading to less choice in partners and worse relationships, or maybe the common goals of farming lifestyles lead to improved cooperation. Regardless, it's all just speculation.

Sevandyk, I think you have a shallow view of the realities of poverty and a subsistence lifestyle. Some of what I mentioned is cultural (which is why I used the word "dysfunctional"), but a lot of it is situational. I stand by my predictions.

I try to find the answer to how to move on once your true love leaves because I couldn't deal with the pain I was broken I just kept falling and I decedied to keep trying even do she said never againg and I don't what hit me but I though if my heart is the problem and I can't live with out her why nnot give her my heart for good and be friends and judt move on with body and mind and let her have what she destroyed it works good so far ......... Jm