Quail Hunting School

Like most Americans, I was losing sleep because I realized that Dick Cheney was roaming the countryside, fully armed and seething with rage while inebriated, with the single-minded goal of murdering innocent domestic quail and guilty lawyers. But then a friend sent me to the Quail Hunting School. This is the same hunting school that Dick Cheney graduated from. The specific advantage of this particular hunting school is it teaches hunters how to do their dirty deeds under real life circumstances instead of under the utopian conditions of hunting while sober.