I went for my intake interview at one of the "aftercare" clinics today. Originally, this appointment had been scheduled for yesterday but because I put that piece of paper into a very very safe place, I (of course) could not find it when I needed it, so I missed my appointment.
The interview itself was relatively painless, although I was very annoyed with their insistence that I "prove" my lack of an income. How the hell do you do that? This is just the same as trying to prove there are no more ivory-billed woodpeckers. What dolts.
"Well, how are you supporting yourself?" the fat lady asked me as she leaned back in her chair.
I mumbled my reply, staring at the floor, embarassed that I am so incapacitated.
"I am depending on friends."
She asked me what my therapeutic goals were and I told her that I just wanted my mood-altering drugs, that I didn't have any specific therapeutic goals. Especially there; how could I have any goals at that place?
I didn't like this place at all because there are too many people there with serious problems, I mean really serious problems such as addictions to illegal drugs and alcohol, and criminal activity. The fat lady asked me about a parole officer -- parole officer, me?? -- making me want to weep because they obviously must think I am violent. Jeezuz, didn't they read their paperwork on me beforehand?
This experience made me feel as though I too, am a criminal, simply because my brain doesn't function according to the societal norm. I couldn't leave the building fast enough.
As I left, I could hear the song "Eleanor Rigby" in my head, slightly rewritten by my malfunctioning brain, singing;
I look at all the broken people ..
.
How the heck did this nuthouse story get started in the first place?
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Been there - felt that way. :o( They also made me feel inadequate because I had no dependents. Not much they can offer unless there are kids envolved. No,they don't read up before hand on the cases and every person you pyramid to, you will find yourself repeating the whole story of your life. Beware of saying too much,only what they need answered. Save it for the Doctor or authority who handles your transition therapy & meds. I had to get a written statement from doners(My Mother). You will be herded, as cattle, through many doors. Carry a book. I learned to count to 3 before getting up to leave as rushing to leave, to gasp a breath of fresh air, would reel me. I'm glad to have found work and you will also. You are very creative! AND change that tune to:"Good Day Sunshine"...{you feel good - in a special way.} Works for Me!! :o)
Crummy. 8( An ex-gf of mine had to use county mental health services for meds before I met her. When she had a near-loss of health insurance scare, she was pretty upset at the prospect of having to go back there. Luckily for her, something sorta worked out with just a couple days to spare so she didn't have to go back there.
As for asking you to prove a negative, yeesh. I'd take an empty bag, turn it upside down on their desk and say "there, that's my savings and my recent pay stubs" - but that's probably not the best course of action.
Try not to let them and the place get to you - it's a tool to help you, get all you can out of it, forget the rest.
Grrlscientist I don't know what to say except that I read your blog every day and wish you the best.
Its hard to have to go to clinics. When I was in NYC I found a place where I could get my meds. I liked the psychiatrist but to get the meds I also had to meet with a social worker on a regular basis. She was nice, but she knew absolutely nothing about bipolar disorder. When we met I had to teach her about bipolar disorder.
Hi,
Just read through your whole ordeal. best of luck to you. great science blog also.
I'm a mental health profesional, i worked in nj for years now i'm up here in ak. i know services can be rough in places but most workers in mh center honestly want to help, although the admit process is a pain. there are govermment regs. about fees for services and who can get them. they have to ask for proof of income even though it is hard for some people to prove it. if they cant' show some proof then they will get reamed by there oversight boards.
Intake forms have spots for all sorts of questions that have to be filled out. we can't guess what an answer is and if we don't ask we could miss something important( i've worked with a lot of sweet looking, good people who had serious felonies). asking a lot of questions is the only way to find out all the imp. data. don't take it as an insult.
OBTW i have worked with many people who had bi-polar and most were able get there illness under control and move on with their lives. you have many positives the clients i have worked with never had. your education and intellegence and passion about the world will be a powerful strength that will carry you through.
greg
"Therapeutic goals"? Reminds me of job interviews where they ask "where do you see yourself five years from now?"
Um, ...alive? Solvent? In posession of all four limbs? Is that really any of your business?
I've come to love this question. Every interview where I was asked, was for a company that did not last 5 more years.
I guess I sorta know what you are going through -- long ago they labelled me as bipolar, then schizophrenic, then "adolescent adjustment syndrome (I've since self-diagnosed myself with Aspergers). Any one of those leaves you manifestly alone. I was lucky enough to go through the worst of it when I was an adolescent.
I wish you the best. Is there any way I can help?
I find it interesting that a number of people commenting on your blog regarding this topic -- including me -- have revealed pschiatric disorders; perhaps this is a topic for study?
While I cannot really understand your affection for your birds (as I'm a cat person myself); can I recommend you to The Raptor Trust in Millington, NJ where they rehabilitate injured birds? In my mind it's much better than a zoo: rahter than improsining healthy birds they keep only disabled birds in cages for the public to view. I don't know if they have any openings for anyone but volunteers, but if you can swing a volunteer position this might be a nice position for you.