The Kadir-Buxton Method for Curing All Mental Health Problems

I always joke around that I would make the worst therapist since my 'therapy' would consist of something like this:

Surprisingly (well maybe not that surprisingly since the internet appeared) this method seems to be practiced somewhere seriously. The Kadir-Buxton Method involves:

making a fist of both hands, and striking both ears of the patient at exactly the same time and pressure with the soft part of the inner hand which is where the thumb joins the hand.

So let me get this straight... I hit someone hard in the head and it cures things like: Manic depression, eating disorders, pedophilia, drug addiction, and manic depression.

Not surprisingly,

You will find that the Kadir-Buxton Method is also effective against comas and senility, amongst other things. I am hoping that Medical Professionals across Europe will evaluate and bring into use the biggest breakthrough in Medicine since my invention Microsurgery. I am having a hard time getting the Kadir-Buxton Method used in the UK because it would cut down the number of professionals that are needed at present, and of course, cut the amount of expensive drugs that drug companies sell at present. I intend to shut down all Mental Health Wards, and pass on the patients to trained nurses in local surgeries, and would like the money saved to be spent on Health and Education. According to the magazine Ecologist the savings would be £100 billion per year.

Be careful in your application of this method because each disorder requires you to hit the patient a specific number of times. Head over to this wonderful mental health resource to find out how you can practice this amazing new method.

-via Improbable Research-

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This has got to be a satire. Isn't it? Please say it is.

Oh dear lord. boxing someone's ears is therapy, now?

Seriously, if you do this right (or maybe wrong?), you can probably break their eardrums. WTF.

By G. Williams (not verified) on 16 Dec 2007 #permalink

For all that's worth, I'd tell my therapist I am feeling absolutely fine and cured, too, if the other alternative was to get hit.

Way back when I was a sprout I read a sci-fi short story about an uneducated guy in a hick town who had the knack, when confronted with a malfunctioning appliance or machine, of hitting it in exactly the right place and right way to make it start working again.

Of course, the local auto mechanic and radio repair guy hated him and tried more than once to assassinate him. Ultimately he disappeared, but his nephew (the narrator of the story) bumps into him in Washington DC and gets invited to see him at work.

They go to the office of a famous psychiatrist and the nephew is conducted into the observation side of a mirror room. A very high level government official enters the other side of the room with the therapist, who hypnotizes him and then leaves him there by himself.

Then the lost uncle, wearing a janitor's uniform, comes into the room, looks at the patient for a few minutes and then WHACK! hits him a good one on the side of the head. The therapist reenters and wakes the patient up, who proceeds to gush all over him about how much better he feels and how he can go on doing the job that was driving him into near-suicidal depression.

Of course, this all has to be kept very secret. In exchange for his silence, the uncle offers his nephew a free treatment for his tendency to get into trouble by borrowing money he can't repay.

The punch line is something like "so now whenever I feel the urge to borrow money, I go see Uncle Buck and he gives me another good swift kick in the ass".

By Ktesibios (not verified) on 16 Dec 2007 #permalink

Boxing a kid's ears used to be a common punishment. I remember it hurt like hell, in places you couldn't put ice on.

Then came the schools and their mandatory hearing tests, and when kids turned up with ruptured eardrums, the Pittsburgh Police worked over the parents in the back room and turned this around. This is the first I've heard of boxing in 50 years.

hehehe nice one

By Macnerdzcare (not verified) on 16 Dec 2007 #permalink