Crash the polls!

Once you've voted in the poll that matters, you can go play on this Online Presidential Poll. I'm pretty sure the results won't be binding, so you can vote for me or Immanuel Kant (wait, what? He left off Nietzsche?)

John McCain 4% 8
Barack Obama 17% 35
Rev. Jeremiah Wright 2% 4
William Ayers 1% 2
Sarah Palin 0% 0
A Moose 4% 8
PZ Myers, aka, "Pharyngula" 2% 5
Glenn Reynolds, aka, "InstaIgnorance" 0% 0
Immanuel Kant 12% 26
Any member of the PGR Advisory Board 0% 1
Any member of the Texas Taliban 0% 1
Jason Stanley 4% 9
Paul Krugman, Nobel Laureate 9% 19
Gary Becker, Nobel Laureate 3% 6
Saul Kripke, Schock Prize Winner 5% 11
The Anonymous Proprietor of the
Now Defunct "Dadahead" Blog
0% 1
Stephen Colbert 10% 21
Ali G. 4% 9
A Philosopher Named Cohen
(G.A., Joshua, or Stewart)
11% 22
Any Four-Dimensionalist 10% 21

I am troubled that I am being trounced by a moose, but at least I'm beating Palin.

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I'm all tied in knots today. I'm not going to be able to go to sleep if they don't have an answer for who's won...

Ahead of the moose now. I will admit I was tempted to vote for the moose, but I was a bit worried by its record on foreign policy even though it was substantially better than Palin's.

Wot no Allosaurus? It could eat the moose.
No time-lords either unless "Any Four-Dimensionalist" counts.
How about the Harper Valley PTA? ;-)

PZ is almost tied with Obama. Well ahead of the moose.

By Nerd of Redhead (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

Sorry PZ, but I had to vote for Stephen Colbert. I would support you for the veepstakes* though! I am a citizen of the Colbert Nation first and foremost. Although I must admit, I would welcome the cephalod overlords with great pleasure!

*How I HATE this word and can't wait for it to go away forever

Hey, where's Joe the plumber?

I, too, am a part of the Colbert Nation. But I'm sure there would be a cabinet position for PZ. Also, if Kant can be a viable candidate, why not P.G. Wodehouse? If nothing else, it would be the funniest four years of your life.

Com'on guys, this was a scientific effort to gauge sentiment among philosophers! So PZ has now beaten the moose, lay off!

I would have included Nietzsche, but I fear he might be a divisive candidate. We need a uniter like you or Kant.

Notwithstanding the pronouncements of the main stream media and those pundits here, the Moose's campaign is strong and we are confident that when this contest is over will emerge as the Victor despite the vice-presidential pick of squirrel.

Why wasn't Thomas Friedman on the ballot? or Fareed Zakaria? :(

Sorry, PZ. Four-Dimensonalists need a voice too.

Gave you a boost, but I don't think you really had anything to worry about, Palin would have shot the moose anyway. :)

I note with mild ammusmanet that Biden is not on the list. I note this because it will be nice to have an ordinary vice president again that nobody cares about because he's not trying to f*** us over (hopefully).

Too many choices. At mid day, strip the ballot to the three or five front runners and have a runoff!

PZ for Prez - Drag him in kicking and screaming!

JC

I am troubled that I am being trounced by a moose, but at least I'm beating Palin.

A Møøse once bit my sister ...

(a statement from a Palin far more intelligent than Sarah...)

I was begining to feel left out. At least I can vote in one election today.

By Marc Abian (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

a vote for moose is a vote for trouble

By Boris Badenov (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

Yes vote for da moose!

By Natasha Fatale (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

How can you people vote for "Moose"?! Haven't you heard? He's been seen palling around with "Bear". And we all know that bears are a threat to national security.

Raskolnikov!!!!!!!!

Natasha, shaddap you mouth.

You busy-bodies have busied your last body.

Vote against moose.

By Boris Badenov (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

Well, at least Phill Plait is not in this poll... imagine how PZ would feel if he was behind the Bad Astronomer! :)

By GPPlascencia (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

I voted for Moose. After all, the moose dealt with Boris and Natasha.

Natasha: (Thick Russian accent.) Boris, we must get squirrel and moose before they are elected to US presidency.

Boris: (With thicker Russian accent.) I have a plan.

Announcer: Little did the voters of Frostbite Falls know...

Hm, don't even need to clear out cookies to vote again and have it count. Not that I know this from direct experience.

Hm, don't even need to clear out cookies to vote again and have it count. Not that I know this from direct experience.

Really? I got a "Sorry, you've already voted!" message ...

Uh oh, time for McCain to pull a "double maverick."

By Shaden Freud (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

After the well-known slashdot effect on websites, there is now a similar Pharyngula-effect ;-)
This poll has been pharyngulated! PZ, get ready to move in to the Whitehouse ;-)

By Hermanito (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

According to the new McCain ads PZ pals around with atheists, and rumor has it, Obama's mother had sex with a black man.
I think we can trust them on this.

I'm not sure that Immanuel Kant would be such a good president, certainly not if he enforced the categorical imperative on all issues. So, I went with the only safe option: Any four-dimensional. That way I'm pretty sure that my candidate will win in at least one of the parallel universes :)

I was a bit of a traitor and voted for Ali G. I mean, he did con Kent Hovind into being on his show, y'know...

By «bønez_brigade» (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

Had to go with the moose (now at 6%) - no offense to you personally.

Choose the Moose! ¡Alce sí!

Aye my tentacled master, I hear and obey. PZ for president! 43%!

I voted for the moose earlier, since I figured that PZ didn't really want the job. Which actually makes him a good candidate.

By Nerd of Redhead (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

This time Pharyngulization has gone too far. Seriously.

(NB: I voted for Ayers).

OH PZ you're winning by 44%!

But alas, I voted for Stephen Colbert.

44% and 517 votes.

By Peter McKellar (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

Who is PZ's running mate?

I voted for Moose. His political record is impeccable. and he's cute.

PZ does not need a running mate for PZ can never die, only evolve.

No Kucinich, no vote from me.

At this point, I would have voted for
"Anyone who thinks young earth creationism is foolish"

By Benjamin Franklin (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

I really felt I couldn't vote for the moose without knowing precisely WHICH moose I was voting for. Individual character matters- I don't like generic candidates. And if you're not careful, you might end up electing a Russian moose. (I'm not using McCarthy-ite or Dole-ite scare tactics, as it is well known that Russian mooses abandoned their short-lived flirtation with communism 40 years ago. I just don't like their present position on borscht subsidies.)

Sorry, Stephen Colbert was also on the ballot.

By Reginald Selkirk (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

Drat, #25 beat me to it...

:D

And now that P-Zed is soundly in front, I suggest the rest of you vote for Colbert--that way, if HE wins, PZ might get a mention on the show.

PZ might get a mention on the show.

Then PZ could raise his speaking fees. Win-Win.

By Nerd of Redhead (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

My vote moved the stat for total votes for PZ at 666. Perfecto!

Excellent suggestion, Marty!

You're winning! I think Obama can not possibly go around this result. McCain could, if he would win that other election, obviously ;-)

I really wanted to vote for ERV, cause she's hawt...

So I settled for PZ.

By Bob of QF (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

FIRST RESULTS (which do not actually count in the electoral college) are in:

Obama has won the territory of Guam (West of the dateline, so one day ahead of the rest of the country).
Obama 62%
McCain 37%
Barr 0.65% (212 votes out of 32,272)

This territory voted 2-1 for Bush in 2004( maybe because of a lot of military people living there?).
I think it will be a landslide.
I was volunteering for a couple of hours this morning and we were getting out the vote in a lower-middle class African American neighbourhood in Milwaukee. Almost every house we went to, the adults had already voted. AND they thanked us profusely for taking the trouble to walk around their neighbourhood and the "Bless yous" would have melted your heart. Wisconsin for Obama by close to ten points....I have never seen such grass roots enthusiasm in an American election.

677 for PZ. He's kickin' ass.

Another vote for A Moose.
Because, y'know, why not?

By Sven DiMilo (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

Had to vote for Da Moose

The surprisingly strong showing of Immanuel Kant clearlly shows that attack ads can backfire.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7M-cmNdiFuI

I assumed the link would be to verse calling him "very rarely stable," and slanderously referring to him as a "real pissant."

By Epinephrine (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

A vote for the Moose is a vote for...err, um I got nothing. Voted Moose anyway.

THERE'S NO EXCUSE NOT TO VOTE FOR THE MOOSE!

Thank Yøu. Thank yøu all før vøting før me!

Änd yes, it was me whø bit yøur sistër. :)

By A MØØSE (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

I agree with marty (#69). It would be best if the race is really close. If we get lucky, Stephen might even put PZ on his hate list (sorry, I don't remember the technical term).

Sorry, PZ. I voted for the moose. It's time to stop figuratively voting for the dominant male with the biggest antlers.

Total OT but way interesting.

ScienceDaily (Nov. 4, 2008) -- A team led by a Montana State University professor has found a fungus that produces a new type of diesel fuel, which they say holds great promise. Calling the fungus' output "myco-diesel," Gary Strobel and his collaborators describe their initial observations in the November issue of Microbiology.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/11/081103192319.htm

By terrylong (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

Since there was noi way to write in Dr. Kervorkian's name, I had to go with the moose. I can only hope it is a well-armed Alaskan moose with a nasty temper when shot at.

#90

Posted by: Arthur | November 4, 2008 3:59 PM

I agree with marty (#69). It would be best if the race is really close. If we get lucky, Stephen might even put PZ on his hate list (sorry, I don't remember the technical term).

Threatdown.

@#92: Yeah, I saw that. The "novel fungus" though was described as Penicillium roseum by Johann Heinrich Friedrich Link in 1816, and got its current name, Clonostachys rosea f. rosea, in 1999. Gliocladium roseum is a homologue name.

When Colbert gets hold of this and possibly puts it on the air, the Nation will absolutely crush the heretofore undefeated PZ minions. But I bet someone could change this result by editing a couple of Wikipedia entries. Just sayin'.

Threatdown.

On Notice and Dead to Me boards.

#87 and #88 had perfect timing. Yay for Pythonesque synchronicity!

Shit. This is embarrassing. I hadn't noticed that Krugman had won the Nobel prize in Economics, until I saw this list.

Man, I gotta read more news...

Sorry, Dr. Myers, but my vote matters, and I think Obama would make a better president than you.

PZ, you're trouncing everyone else at 45%. Don't let all that power go to your head.

Cheers,
Ray

You wanna know 'ow I make diz country bettah? Iz simple, two words: keep it real! -Ali G

Sorry PZ, I considered you but had to go for Stephen Colbert in the end. After eight years of amateur clowning I thought America might want to graduate to a professional.

1000 votes for PZed!!

I was PZ's 999th vote! That's 666 upside down!

Let's see what Fox makes of THAT statistic.

By Benny the Icepick (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

PZ for president! What a shame he's not a candidate for the real president, still I suppose we will have to settle for Obama. Only hours to go before that grumpy old grampa and his (dozy queen of anti-science) running mate are long forgotten nobodies! Well let's hope anyway.

Does it register a vote as soon as you click on a button? I can't see any "Vote" button! I'm being disenfranchised!!

By Nick Gotts (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

Voted for the only real scientist in that list that:

1. I actually know

2. Is actually alive

3. Has abundantly demonstrated serious knack for communicating effectively to non-scientist public

Prizes don't impress me much. Perceptive, penetrating and intelligible discourse ungarnished by unnecessarily opaque specialist or academic language together with boundless sensibility and enthusiasm does. That guy will go far and do much good.

By Arnosium Upinarum (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

Voted for the only real scientist in that list that:

1. I actually know

2. Is actually alive

3. Has abundantly demonstrated serious knack for communicating effectively to non-scientist publicPrizes don't impress me much. Perceptive, penetrating and intelligible discourse ungarnished by unnecessarily opaque specialist or academic language together with boundless sensibility and enthusiasm does. That guy will go far and do much good.

I assume of course you mean, a Moose.

Does it register a vote as soon as you click on a button? I can't see any "Vote" button! I'm being disenfranchised!!

Click on the Query button on the left, which takes you to another page with a Vote button.

Vote for Immanuel Kant: a categorical imperative in every pot, and a critique of pure reason in every garage!

By Nick Gotts (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

A Moose
Rumination You Can Believe In

By Sven DIMilo (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

Nick Gotts: Does it register a vote as soon as you click on a button? I can't see any "Vote" button! I'm being disenfranchised!!

SC: Click on the Query button on the left, which takes you to another page with a Vote button.

I just checked, and the website is not i Florida, as one would suspect if considering the irrational clicking before voting, but in California :)

The Artiodactyl We Need

By Sven DiMIlo (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

Thanks SC! I was going to vote for Immanuel Kant, but at the last moment I just couldn't bring myself to vote for a transcendental idealist, and plumped for the moose instead.

By Nick Gotts (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

They stole the election from you, PZ!!! A "5 pm update" indicates that all your votes were "spoiled"! (sounds very fishy to me).

It puts Obama in the lead, with Colbert and A Moose following behind.

By CrypticLife (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

Moose all the way!

Seriously, I've had enough of these politicians and their "Boys Club". It's time to bring in a fresh perspective, a greener perspective, a more natural perspective. A perspective that can only be achieved by having your head in a marsh and getting bitten to the point of raving insanity by blackflies for eight months of the year. It's time we stopped listening to the average male human and open our ears and our hearts to the bellow of change echoing forth from the swamplands.

Vote Moose.

They've stolen the election!!
Scroll down on the first page!!
They've discounted PZed's votes entirely.
What are they, Republicans?
It's a sad day.

Moose.

Vote Yourself a Forest.

They've discounted PZed's votes entirely.

Moose now running third behind Obama and Colbert!

Darth Wader, #116, wrote:

PZ I just couldn't bring myself to vote for you. I'm afraid you would give cephalopods special rights.

Hey, I'm all for special rights for cephalopods - the special right to be cooked with salt-and-pepper seasoning...

By Wowbagger (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

YES!!! A TRIUMPH FOR A MOOSE!

Exposing voter fraud is your duty as Americans. The Moose campaign is happy that the fraud has been exposed and the dignity of the election upheld.

Vote for Moose!!

Free Soil, Free Labor, Free Speech, Free Men, and Free Moose!!

You was robbed! Demand a recount! Take it all the way to the Supreme Court if necessary! Cephalopods Unite! Obey your tentacled masters!

where's nader :(

I voted for that PZ Myers guy. I hear he's gonna become King Pharynluga after he gets elected!

By firemancarl (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

I'm sorry PZ but your poll crashing abilities, while strong, cannot compete with Colbert ( see Hungarian bridge).

By Feynmaniac (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

As a member of the Ailurophiliac Party I was disappointed that no cat was on the ballot so I had to cast my vote for A Moose.

By Ian H Spedding FCD (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

u r da winna (so far 46%)! epic pwnage mr myers ! we r not worthy - so ... whos your running mate going to be ????

By XsybionicX (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

whos your running mate going to be ????

I know! I know!

A Møøse! :)

By Missus Gumby (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

A Moose
Cervidae First!

By Sven DiMIlo (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

PZ - 47%
Obama - 14%
Colbert - 12%
Moose - 6%

And now the LULz:

Ayers - 2%
McCain - 1%

Is must to vote Moose

Consider prolific cabinet of Rockey J. Squirrel, VP; Boris Badenov, Homeland Security; Natasha Fatale, HHS; Captain Peter "Wrongway" Peachfuzz, Defense; Gidney & Cloyd, State; Mr Peabody, Treasury; and Sherman, Chief of Staff.

By The Cheerful N… (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

PZ
you're still beating that cock-sucking whore.
way to go.

after tonight Sarah will have had her 15 minutes of fame.

We have been disenfranchised!

Yes we Kant!

By Heathcliff (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

#142,

Fuck right off.

This election is getting to be a real Kirwood Derby.

Oooo. I just went back and actually read all of the thread and am proud of the company I'm keeping. Unfortunately for them, it's probably not reciprocal.

(Oh well, we all have our Jeremiah Wrights and Bill Ayers. Well, they do.)

Moose On!

By The Cheerful N… (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

Currently 1290 votes for Mr. Myers. 48%. Well past a plurality. Well on its way to a majority. Bravisimo.

I'm dissappointed though that Marvin the Paranoid Android was not an option.

Currently 1290 votes for Mr. Myers. 48%. Well past a plurality. Well on its way to a majority. Bravisimo.

Those votes have been disallowed.

It's no use not voting for Moose.

You can't stop the Swamp Donkey! Go Moose! Go!

Based on different reasons for each real candidate, I find both despicable and couldn't bring myself to vote for either. I ended up voting for PZ on both elections (would have written in Hitchens as his political views are a bit more in line with mine, but of course, he is not eligible)

OT: Kay Hagan is kicking Elizabeth Dole's ASS!

Rev BDC #111: "I assume of course you mean, a Moose."

But of course! Definitely. Who else?

Antlers...I SWOON. As prominences sprouting from the head - blush - they remind me so of cephalopods in solidified form...

Sorry PZ, but I just couldn't resist mere appearance. I hope you will forgive my transgression into this bit of rank idolatry. I just can't bear the thought of you working even harder than you already are.

By Arnosium Upinarum (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

Come on, I need a *real* polls thread!

I had quite a rotten night four years ago, waiting for results. If you don't post something soon, I'll have to figure out how to get back on IRC...

The bastards! They threw out PZ's votes.

Release the Kracken!!

ELIZABETH DOLE LOSES.....ok hagen is not the best, but still...

By protocol4 (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

Liddy Dole is toast!

Yay! XD

Penn for Obama!!
Ladies and gentleman...it's over.
Obama Obama Obama Obama

Please, let this be the last we hear of Palin.

I voted for the moose....PZ's university needs him to keep teaching students how to think (note: Not WHAT to think, but HOW to think...how to use their brains.)

I see vote for Moose but not for Squirrel.

By 'Tis Himself (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

Since I feel the office of president is superfluous and unnecessary, I had to choose the one most fitting for that position, so sorry, PZ, I had to vote for the moose. Unfortunately there is a good chance that an upset Sarah Palin will assasinate the moose at the first opportunity if the moose wins the election. And, just in case, the Game and Wildlife departments better start training a secret service division. :-D

(Anybody ever hear the old Woody Allen stand up bit about shooting a moose? Hysterical)

Well and truly pharyngulated.
I think it's doubly honorable that the nearest runner-up (and it is quite distant) is Stephen Colbert.

Nietzsche's not much of a proper atheist. His understanding of science -- including evolution -- is dim, and his reasons for being an atheist are of the sentimental kind.

Nietzsche is Dead.

By The Ghost of D. Boon (not verified) on 04 Nov 2008 #permalink

The Cohen ticket doesn't include Leonard?!!!

By Silverwhistle (not verified) on 05 Nov 2008 #permalink

Congratulations! All of your work has been deleted!

Don't blame me, I voted for a moose.