Play with your scrotum anywhere

From the Department of Sensible Things That Are Still Quite Funny comes these life size testicles, made with BIOLIKE⢠synthetic tissue. Now you can fondle your balls in public without fear of prosecution! Yours for just $115.


One happy customer reports:

One of the best purchases that I've ever made! Several of my co-workers have thanked me for bring them in and sharing. I'm so glad to have them, then one model is attached to the rear view mirror on my VW Beetle. All I can say is stop playing around and get this real deal!

The only downside is that there are two synthetic tumours embedded in each testicle, making them a great tool for teaching self-examination but seriously undercutting the warm, reassuring feeling that comes with juggling ones balls.

Bonus related product: this triple-breast model, which makes it look as though you have that woman from Total Recall hiding inside your partition wall.

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This is nothing- you should see what we use at the Medical Simulation Center!

$115 to educate our children. FUCK YOU CAPITALISM! How's about these for every high school kid for FREE! Then maybe we could help reduce the deaths from testicular cancer. RATHER THAN MAKE SOME FUCKERS RICHER!

By Matthew Zunder (not verified) on 18 May 2010 #permalink

Love the way Americans express themselves...cant say anything without swearing!!....AMERICA, YA!!!!!!!!

Matthew lets think this through, you want to give one of these to every high schooler in America for free. And who exactly is going to pay for these. Who is going to pay for the raw materials to make them, Who is going to pay for the transportation to get them from the factory to the schools? Who is going to pay for the gas to go into the Truck that delivers them? Who is going to pay for the janitors to clean the factory that makes the fake nuts. Who is going to pay for the office staff that is setting up the delivery of these free items. Matthew you are at some point in your life going to realize that there is nothing in this world that is FREE. you have to pay someone to produce something for you unless they all decide out of the goodness of their own hearts to give it to you. Otherwise it is theft plain and simple. So before you continue on your rant of Fuck Capitalism, think about that lovely computer that you are on, who paid for it, who is paying for the electricity that you are using or the internet connection.

Fred, some things just aren't meant to be given a lot of thought.

To be relevant, i would not pay $115 for these fake balls, simply because i have my own, much more life-like pair to keep me entertained. Although if i were rich i would buy a case of them and sew them onto the outside of all my friend's pants.

Ooh! Let me slam an entire country in a xenophobic manner too! Pretty please? FUCK ANTARCTICA! Those fucking penguins are too fucking smug! I hate those fat fuckers! Fucking coddling those damn eggs on their fucking feet! Fuck!

By Kristen U. (not verified) on 18 May 2010 #permalink

Hey Rick. The doors open, you can leave at any time.
If reading what Americans write is annoying then don't read it!