Pointless polls

Oh, it's a tough one. How much will you miss Glenn Beck on Fox News? Not at all 30% A little bit 18% Tremendously 45% Life is not worth living 7% Do me a favor and make Billo whine about how we hijacked his poll.
Time Magazine is running a poll to determine who are the most influential people in the world — like an online poll is the best way to do that — and one of them is Christopher Hitchens, who currently has 11989 votes saying he's influential, and 570 saying he's not. Join the mob, and let's make it even more of a landslide!
Curse our sense of good taste and our willingness to disagree! The American Atheists have put up a billboard in Des Moines, Iowa, in preparation for the big meeting next month, and the local media have noticed and put up a poll. I'd like to say that we shall simply go in and crush this poll, except…they're using the ugly yellow design with the weird tents and symbols. Which means that even if they like the content, many atheists will vote "hate them" for their lousy esthetics. Oh, well. Go forth and sow confusion, then. That's all these polls are good for, anyway. What do you think of the new…
That title should lead into a joke…but I've got nothin'. Apparently, some Irish politicians are arguing for the legalization of prostitution, and there's a poll about it. Should Ireland legalise paying for sex? Yes 65%No 26%I don't know 8% That's a tough one. On the one hand, the way prostitution laws are enforced generally means that they contribute to the oppression of women, but on the other hand, prostitution itself oppresses women. But in the end, I had to vote yes, because clearly this is another attempt to infringe upon the magisterium of the Holy Mother Church, and it's about time…
Beau Schaefer is a biology teacher in an Illinois public school. Beau Schaefer has admitted to promoting creationism instead of science in his classes. The law is clear on this one: teachers in public schools do not get to peddle their personal superstitions to a captive audience. They especially don't get to do it if it compromises or replaces teaching the mandated curriculum. This is such a serious national problem that I think the school district ought to come down on the incompetent jerk hard…but I also think it ought to be the responsibility of the school system to police this sort of…
I don't even know where to begin. The choices on this one make no sense. Do you believe evolution should be taught as a theory instead of accepted fact? Yes 44% No 50% I'm not sure 5% But evolution is both a fact and a scientific theory! I guess I had to focus on the use of the word "instead" to mean they don't want to teach the facts of evolution, so I had to vote no. I wish every poll had an additional option, so you could vote for "Whoever made up this poll is a moron." They never have that choice, though. What dishonest slug is in charge of that Fox station? They changed the poll…
It's a pseudo-poll with 168,000 votes already, and I don't believe it. The Rethuglican Wisconsin governor who has been trying to silence the people is not going to be the recipient of such clear favor and such large numbers…but here, go play with it anyway. POLL: Do you approve of the job Gov. Walker is doing? Strongly approve 48.95% Approve 5.56% Disapprove 1.88% Strongly disapprove 43.61% Just remember, if anyone tries to cite this stupid internet poll in support of any position, it's completely meaningless.
A UK court has decided that a pair of homophobic Pentacostal Christians should not be allowed to be foster parents to children, because they openly condemn homosexuality. I think it's a shame that these deluded bigots won't get an opportunity to learn that gay kids can be good people, too, but it's probably better that they aren't given a chance to poison any child's life. The Daily Mail readers don't seem to think that's fair, though…why don't you chip in with your opinions? Should Christian couple against homosexuality be allowed to foster? Yes 73% No 27% In case you're waffling on this…
Unbelievable. Look at the first and so far leading choice in this poll: "The unions need to be reined in." What has happened to this country? Aren't the people who are voting in this poll likely to be mostly working class… yet here they are, whining that they aren't whipped and oppressed enough! How do you feel about Gov. Walker's plan for the public workers' unions? Gov. Scott Walker wants to help fix state finances by cutting benefits for union workers and wiping away their ability to negotiate over anything but their wages, setting up a potentially explosive battle in the Capitol. I like…
I got a request from the Association Humaniste du Québec to pharyngulate a poll, and who am I to turn away a mob of idiosyncratic and fiercely independent citizens? Quebec, as you may know, has been making great strides in promoting secularism, ending the nonsense of saying prayers before meetings and removing religious symbols from provincial establishments. There is still, however, a crucifix hanging in the National Assembly room. So here's the question: Le crucifix a-t-il toujours sa place au Salon bleu de l'Assemblée nationale? ("Does the crucifix have any business in the blue Room of the…
Those two wretched words are "faith" and "homeopathy". Please go kill it. Kill it, then burn it, then piss on the ashes, then use the ashes to fertilize a field and grow a tall stand of grass, then burn that, and then use the field as a fecal lagoon where you toss the waste from raising pigs, which you turn into bacon, thereby salvaging something useful from it. See? I can too be an optimistic dreamer. Do you have faith in homeopathy? Yes: it works 68% No: it's nonsense 26% I've an open mind on it 5%
I know. That's crazy. But I have no choice. Go vote. Readers' Choice Award for Best Atheist Blog of 2010 Atheist Revolution 1% Common Sense Atheism 7% The Friendly Atheist 5% Martin S. Pribble 52% Pharyngula 32% Readers' Choice Award for Best Atheist to Follow on Twitter Matt Dillahunty 1% Monicks 84% PZ Myers 6% Religulous 5% Rosa Rubicondior 2%
It's on their front page, just scroll down a little. Which belief system describes your view of the origin and development of life on Earth? Naturalistic evolution 30% Theistic evolution 12% Creation science 40% None of the above 8% Not sure 9% Evolution is doing a little better than I'd expect among USA Today readers, but still disappointing.
I know, that's a rather vague descriptor: that's what so many polls do. This is a poll about the anti-vaccination movement, though, which is like creationism in that it's hard to believe people can be quite that thick about something that has been so thoroughly demolished. But go ahead, smash it down a little bit more. Apparently, Paul Offit, who has written a couple of excellent books debunking the anti-vaxxer loons, is going to appear on the Colbert Report, which has annoyed the crackpots. They have mobilized their forces to defeat the evil poll…so we'll send out a few people to help. Will…
An old-as-stupid benighted leader of a medieval institution that thinks the last word in social engineering is the mistranslated words of ancient goatherders scrawled on vellum has come out and said that using your computer for social networking is OK, as long as you don't do it too much and adopt a suitably Christian manner in your writing — which may explain all those gleeful letters I've been getting that inform me I'm going to burn in hell for all eternity. The Pope doesn't even use a computer, and apparently writes all his missives in longhand, with a quill, unless he's still using a…
Dan Savage has called on his readers to respond to a poll. Here's the description: "A religious right-wing conservative State Senator is trying to make [death-with-dignity] illegal," writes a reader. "A state senator, along with a couple of anti-choice religious-based organizations, are freeping (artificially inflating the #s by getting out-of-area votes) a poll on a newspaper site in Kalispell, with a plan to get a big headline that they won the poll. Normally I wouldn't bother with such stuff. But Montana is the smallest of small town politics--and every little thing matters." Go here,…
As all rational, well-informed people know, Andrew Wakefield has been thoroughly discredited: his poor study that claimed a link between vaccination and autism has not only been debunked, but Wakefield has been found to have committed fraud for personal profit, manipulating the data to get the results that professional litigators wanted him to get. Wouldn't you know it, Wakefield is fighting back…by trying to crash an internet poll. Doesn't he know that the Jedi Masters of poll crashing are all either on the side of science (like me) or the side of chaos (4chan), and that he's not going to…
Whoa. Naming rights to the arena for the Sacramento Kings has been bought up by a corporation — no surprise at all there — but guess who bought it? The company that makes those cheesy and ridiculous Power Balance bracelets, those scraps of silicone with an imbedded hologram that they falsely tout as improving athletic performance. This is the same company that got slapped down by an Australian court…and they make $35 million a year defrauding the public. We're all in the wrong business. There's also a poll at the article: Although the name change is tentative, Arco Arena is to be renamed…
Jerry Coyne has a recommendation for this poll on the best webcomic: vote for Jesus and Mo. I concur. And it seems to be sweeping the poll right now. Hey, did it get Coynulated before it was Pharyngulated?
The Pope has announced that God was the cause behind the Big Bang, which is nice…but unfortunately, he hasn't shown any data, nor has he published in any of the physics journals. Instead, we're going to have to rely on a poll. The pope says God was behind the Big Bang, which scientists believe created the universe. What do you think? God created everything in seven days as the Bible says, no Big Bang necessary. 13.2% There is no God and the Big Bang was probably responsible for all creation. 21.2% I agree with the Pope. If there was a Big Bang, it was God's work. 39.7% No one…