silliness

Theorem: The set of students who can learn the material of a course without attending lectures or working homework problems is always smaller than the set of students who think they can learn the material of a course without attending lectures or doing homework problems. Years of intense study have so far failed to produce a counterexample to this theorem, but no airtight formal proof has yet been devised, either. The closest attempt attempts to prove it by assuming the opposite, and finding a contradiction, arguing that were the set of students who think they can learn without homework of…

I'm getting twinges in my neck indicating that I've been spending too much time looking at the computer, and I've got some computer-heavy work coming up in the next couple of weeks, so expect reduced blogging in the next few days. I couldn't let this essay in the New Yorker (via Matt Yglesias) pass without comment, though. It's arguing for a model of endowment-supported nonprofit journalism, but along the way it takes a shot at my alma mater: Not to pick on any one institution, but, from a constitutional perspective, how did we end up in a society where Williams College has (or had, before…

I realize it's been several years now since the World Wildlife Federation won their lawsuit against the World Wrestling Federation, forcing Vince McMahon to re-brand his whole preposterous enterprise. Still, when I see a press release with the headline: WWF seeks innovative solutions to bycatch through worldwide competition I expect the "competition" to be settled by somebody getting smacked in the back with a folding chair while the referee's back is turned. And, you know, as long as it's a dolphin swinging the chair, I'm good with that.

Lots of people are giving Obama props for the shout-out to atheists in his inaugural address, but I'm deeply concerned about what he said. Or, rather, what he didn't say: We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and non-believers. Where are the Buddhists? He left out a major world religion! "Oh, well, what harm can it do?" you may be thinking. "There aren't that many Buddhists in the US, after all, and they're not really concerned with worldly things." This is a dangerously naive view of the world. If pop culture teaches us anything, it's don't mess with the Buddhists.…

The world is a very strange place: An intruder received a taste of divine reckoning as he was chased from the Edinburgh flat he was breaking into by a man dressed as the Norse god Thor. The housebreaker leapt from the first-floor window of the building to escape Torvald Alexander who was dressed-up for a New Year's fancy dress party. Mr Alexander, 39, said the man may have been intimidated by the costume he made of the god of thunder out of tin foil. [...]Mr Alexander said the man landed on a pitched roof outside the window which broke his fall, before making his escape. He left behind his…

Feeling a little down? Unappreciated? Below the fold is a link to the Norwegian compliment generator, along with a few of the Norwegian compliments that I received today. Behold, The Surrealist Norwegian Compliment generator and a sampling of the compliments I received today; You have the patience of a trilobite. Cretins and vermin cannot compare with the depths of your cousins. Your raw sensuality flusters me as the dog sneezes into the ventilation fan. Your face is like an imperfectly shaven tennis ball. The expanse of your intelligence is a void no universe could ever fill. You have no…

Via Tom, my go-to source for this sort of nonsense, the Benny Hillifier, which will add "Yackity Sax" to any YouTube video. Because any video is funnier with "Yackity Sax". And since I know somebody will ask, it works on the Monkey Dance, too.

As always, if you want penetrating analysis of the news, you need to go to a comedian. Jon Stewart explains why Congress is willing to bail out Wall Street, but not Detroit: */ The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c Autoerotic Explanation Barack Obama InterviewJohn McCain Interview Sarah Palin VideoFunny Election Video It's kind of sad that this is one of the best arguments I've heard for giving the car companies the money they want. (As an aside, Comedy Central's embed code for their video player is just about the ugliest thing ever. It's four times the size of the YouTube…

One of the links in the previous post was to Josh's thoughts on the CNN science shutdown. Toward the end, he had an interesting note on why science doesn't get more play: This is especially bad for CNN, since so much of their airtime is taken up by talking heads yelling at one another. Science doesn't work like that, and scientists fare poorly in a setting where rhetorical speed is valued over empirical evidence and fact-checking. This means that science is less likely to be covered at all, and when it is covered, it will be covered poorly. He's right about CNN, but I wonder about the…

It's nice to know that a PhD in science is good for something .. what was your score?

Nevermind that I do not live with a cat ..

If, like me, you have long thought that the world needs more thrillers based on quantum physics, the students and post-docs of the Ultrafast Group at Oxford have got a short film for you: The DiVincenzo Code, in six parts on YouTube. It doesn't make any less sense than a Dan Brown novel, and the production is impressively good. Ian Walmsley's turn as the evil Dr. Eve is not to be missed, particularly part V where he does the Mad Scientist Dance. (Via the Pontiff.)

Via Boing Boing, a "conceptual artist" is selling a make-your-own-universe kit: According to [a slightly garbled explanation of quantum mechanics], any kind of measurement causes the universe to split and this is the basis of Keats' new device. His universe creator uses a piece of uranium-doped glass to create a steam of alpha particles, which are then detected using a thin sliver of scintillating crystal. Each detection causes the creation of a new universe. The kits sell for $20. For a limited time only, though, I'll make you a better offer: if you send me $15, I won't send you an art…

A Colbert Report re-run about the financial crisis has just ended, so I turn the tv off, grab my jacket and the leash, and head out for a walk with the dog. She's oddly pensive as we head up the street. After a little while, she stops and asks, "What was that all about?" "All what?" "All that 'crisis' and 'bailout' stuff. It sounds scary." "Well, a bunch of banks made a bunch of really bad loans, and people have lost a lot of money." "I got that," she says. "I may be a dog, but I'm not stupid. I'm asking how they lost a lot of money." "Well, it's complicated, but I'll try to explain. Let's…

tags: William Shatner, Rocket Man, humor, funny, streaming video This is a hilarious video William Shatner doing what he does best: overacting to the point of silliness [5:00]

On hearing that Washington Mutual is the next bank up in Wall Street's fire sale, I have to admit that my first thought was "Well, that's what they get for letting their customer service be handled by shady guys in Nigeria..." I've gotten so much scam email over the years with Subject: headers like "Washington Mutual Account Access" that I was starting to wonder whether they were actually a real bank. Obviously, I was right to be concerned.

The Science in the 21st Century meeting is being held at the Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics, which is in a really nice building in the middle of Waterloo. It's a building that was quite clearly designed with physicists in mind, as there are numerous little common spaces where people can sit around and argue, and there are chalkboards everywhere. Most of the chalkboards are covered with bits of physics-- matrices, field equations, little diagrams, etc. It really enhances the sense of being in a place where people are working on the Big Problems. And when I went for a walk outside…

As anybody who has studied Quantum Optics knows, correlation functions play a very large role in our understanding of the behavior of light. Roughly speaking, the correlation function tells you how likely you are to detect a second photon some short time after detecting one photon from some source. This shows up in the famous Hanbury Brown and Twiss experiment, and definitive proof of the existence of photons was provided in 1977 when Kimble, Dagenais and Mandel demonstrated photon anti-bunching, where the correlation function goes to zero for short times. Correlation functions are a powerful…

"The Internet is silly!" I turn around from the computer. "Yes it is," I say to the dog, "But what, specifically, makes you say that?" "All these posts about physics theories. Comparing them to women and men and stupid wizards, and relationships. It's silly." "Yes, well, it does seem to be the diversion of the moment." "Anyway, they've got it all wrong. Physics theories are like my toys." "oh, god..." I was afraid of this. "Go on, name a theory, and I'll tell you how it's like my toys." "Do I have to?" "Yes! Go on, name a theory!" "Fine. Classical mechanics." "Oh, that's easy. Classical…

tags: The Jedi Gym, The Quiddich Gym, humor, silliness, streaming video This is funny -- Darth Vader drops in to the first Jedi Gym to ever be started in the world, and he ruins everything. The survivors, though, refuse to admit defeat: they gather together and start a Quiddich Gym. Harry Potter would be so proud! [6:04]