Which cult is the funniest?

I often write about "cult medicine", that is, medical practices that share many characteristics of cults: they are based on faith, they follow charismatic leaders, they separate people from their money---you know, like The Church of Scientology. The COS has everything going for it---a religious arm, a health care arm (the Citizens Commission on Human Rights), and an educational arm. In fact, the more I learn about these wackos, the scarier (and funnier) they seem. You see, it turns out that these folks have a lot of front organizations. Unlike more traditional religions, that are happy to proclaim their identity to all, the volcanosploders seem to think people might be a bit put off by their particular brand of wackaloonery faith. It's amazing how successful they've been at infiltrating secular organizations under the guise of "public service".

Take public education, for example. There's something called The Concerned Businessman's Association of America which, using various sub-fronts, has infiltrated public schools (that's "state schools" to you Brits) under the guise of "moral education" and drug use prevention. Through the SAGE campaign they claim to have forced over 12 million school children to read a piece of their liturgy, "The Way to Happiness", by L. Ron Hubbard. Now, The Way seems pretty harmless, with nice things like "do not murder", but the fact is that it is a religious text and has no place in public schools.

And if you're thinking, "hey, these precepts don't sound so bad. I don't care who wrote them," remember one thing: these are the same folks who think your soul came from a dying intergalactic empire and was banished to Earth via DC-8, dumped in a volcano, exploded with nukes, and wandered to Earth to inhabit other bodies. Or something like that.

You see, with the DC-8-Wranglers, nothing is too absurd. There is no Poe's Law for Scientology, but there should be. It would go something like this:

"It is impossible to describe, discover, or invent a religious practice more absurd than one already claimed by Scientology without getting locked up in the psych ward."

Hmmm...could that be why they hate psychiatrists so damned much?

More like this

In addition to ridding D.C. of a pedophile, the resignation of Republican congressman Mark Foley last week may also be good news for defenders of science. About three years ago, Foley got himself involved with a couple of front organizations for the Church of Scientology. One report, from Cult News…
tags: scientology, religion, cults, mind control, Thetan, silly, offbeat, beliefs, Xenu, L Ron Hubbard, television, BBC, streaming video Speaking of Mormonism and other cults .. erm, religions .. I thought I'd give you a peek at Scientology. In this television report, hidden cameras go inside the…
As my readers know, I take a very hard line on alternative medicine, not because I just don't like it, but because it harms, both actively with dangerous treatments, and passively by keeping people from effective science-based treatments. So what am I to think about a hospital in California that…
Well thank goodness for that. It must be perfectly fine then, I suppose. Nevada Republican Senate candidate, Sharron Angle supported a prison anti-drug program that raised some controversy due to its ties to Scientology. Angle, in an interview, replied (italics mine): Seeking to "clear the…

I think it's an attempt to get kids introduced to Scientology in the hopes that they'll be easier to recruit when they're older. Though again with scientology they're probably filtering some taxpayer money spent on education back up to the cult leader too.

By Marc Abian (not verified) on 18 Mar 2009 #permalink

This is the reason I'm actively working against them because they are actively attacking sacred neutral grounds - public (state) schools.

CCHR (and Youth for Human Rights) should be banned from schools for anti-society - attacking the whole field of psychiatry, who are composed of specialized and qualified medical doctors.

TWTH is actually religious course material and should be banned as such.

If all fails, these font groups should be banned because of anti-history. Whatever they talk about there will be LRH's name on it. In a press release they will always add that LRH is a great so and so man, without anything to support it. History shows that LRH is a convicted criminal (France) and conspirator (US), and many high level scilons, who worked for the organizations he founded, are convicted criminals too (worldwide).

For the same reason, Applied Scholastics should be banned from approved course lists for No Child Left Behind. He never had any credentials and track record as an educator, on earth and outside of volcanoes.

Naconon was banned from talking in schools in several states because of anti-science contents, but that didn't prevent them from trying repeatedly.

By Brenda Jones (not verified) on 18 Mar 2009 #permalink

To see the epitome of bizarre Scientology medicinal practices that essentially nothing more than arcane faith healing via laying of hands w/ untrained massage therapy techniques mixed in, checkout their "Touch Assist" form of treatment, the handbook for these techniques are available on wikileaks here:


With a recent demonstration captured on the streets of Harlem here: http://www.vimeo.com/3535947

Unlicensed masseuse is unlicensed and blatantly violating ethical practices a properly licensed massage therapist would uphold.

So, the DC-8 is actually a Cruise missile?

Good little blurb there - and some good points

like what brenda jones wrote - then their educational arm is quite spooky when you look at their details

try googling "study tech" - that the scientology learning method deviced by good ol' hubbard.

a tenet of study tech is cencoring out information in the study material that conflicts with scientology teachings.

another one is the lovely notion that the study material, the thing you're being taught, cannot be discussed and must be assumed to be 100% correct. it is equally forbidden in study tech to discuss the teaching method, and if you get anything wrong, then it is you, the student, who is doing it wrong, not the teacher, not the study material.

it is a teaching method to create drones that do not question what they are taught, who blindly obey their teachers, and do not attempt to discus what they are taught

I've heard it claimed that L Ron Hubbard made up his relgion more or less on a bet that he could make up any ridiculous thing and have it accepted as a religion. Not sure if it's true or not but it would explain a lot if so--not including, however, why anyone takes it seriously.

CO$ is bogus top to bottom. It should lose it's tax status and be forced to account for it's actions. Stupid e-meter audit crap and pay to play religion. Not funny really, just despicable and sad.

I suspect the hatred of psychiatrists has to do with two things. One, Hubbard had plenty of personal experience with them. He ended up, um, self-medicating for the most part.

The other reason is that they're in direct competition for people needing help. It's really no different than "herbal remedy" salespeople talking about Big Pharma.

Hubbard's words about starting a religion are very well documented. Wikipedia has several of the citations (in possibly their most locked down and footnoted article), but none of the SF writers present seem to have been shy about talking about it. It wasn't a bet, though, merely the most efficient way to make money.

Their front group relating to psychiatry started sending me emails recently. Not sure how I got on their list. They are quite bizarre.

By Marilyn Mann (not verified) on 19 Mar 2009 #permalink