The World's Fair exceptional "I rank number one on google" meme!!

This morning, I was thinking about the truth experiment, and its iPod giveaway, and it occured to me that all this google ranking might be parlayed into a fun meme.

Anyway, here goes:

I'd like to suggest a meme, where the premise is that you will attempt to find 5 statements, which if you were to type into google (preferably google.com, but we'll take the other country specific ones if need be), you'll find that you are returned with your blog as the number one hit.

This takes a bit of effort since finding these statements takes a little trial and error, but I'm going to guess that this meme might yield some interesting insight on the blog in question.

To make it easier, we'll let you use a search statement enclosed in quotations - this is just to increase your chances of turning up as number one, but if you happen to have a website with the awesome traffic to command the same statement without quotations, then flaunt it baby! Of course, nnce you find your 5 statements, pass the meme on to others.

Anyway, without further ado, here are the five World's Fair statements that give us a number one rank.

1. "Ultraman (aka Paul)" *

2. "buying into Stevie Wonder" *

3. "being fancy at drumming" *

4. "cathedral building stuff" *

5. "research on losers" *

Oh, we are so special...

More like this

Awesome Bora!

I'm gonna do one of these for the SCQ, which probably has a bit of muscle. I noticed, for instance, that the SCQ ranks number one for:

"creationism is silly"

I'll check a few more to see if it is #1 and will let you know. This is kewl!

Here are some of mine:

1. Einsatzgruppen-überkristians
2. Molecular biologist Barbie
3. Lardass McOffspring
4. Religiously deranged
5. Arizona theme deck*

There is, without doubt, a trend here.

==

* With one purchased ad appearing above. Hmph.

So far I'm first for:

"Nazi Yeti in flying saucers"
"Nazi mammoth"
"frozen mammoth penis"
"nude photos of Ann Coulter"

As you can see, I run a classy and intellectual blog.

John, the mix suggested by the latter two (frozen mammoth penis/nude photos of Ann Coulter) is something that will haunt me unto the very grave.

Can I suggest a fun scoring system: the phrases score a point for each hit they return in total.

I'm number one for:
> dave hitt is a twat (856 hits)
> religious crackpot (633k hits)
> journalists are shit (1.33m hits)
> carex hand lotion kills bad bacteria (284 hits)
> mps are idiots (264 hitsk)

All without quotes. I honestly thought that would be much harder than it was.

Ooo, fun!

I'm first for:

-mental midgets like Dinesh D'Souza
-closeted gimp-suit wearing evangelicals
-"victim of an evil ideology"
-Professor Dawkins hugs like a grizzly
-It's a Shame There's No Such Thing As Hell

Only one requiring quotes!

This is what I came up with:

Farming kumato ripens diversity
DNA leitmotif for livestock
Luigi and Jeremy like domestication
Transhumance in Italy in question
Focused immersion to complementary cereals

No quotes, and mostly some decent in-bound links:

1. ASP VBScript
2. Improve Your Website Conversion Rate
3. Are Cookies Dangerous
4. Online Marketing for Beginners
5. Fish Banana Druid

This has great vanity value!

1. null enema
2. pertussis basement
3. quack miranda
4. sparticus homeopathy (which highlights my poor speling abilaties)
5. salt woo

I found 8 interesting ones for my blog thus far (linked from the "SMC" below this post, if you're curious):
Expired Jello (and related searches, e.g. expired gelatin, empirical jello science, etc.)
Mexican Zap Death Ray Guns
"Socrates was a Jerk" (had to quote that one)
Do not taunt happy fun park
Gram stain is worse than Harry Potter
"No you can't have a cookie" "Not yours" (two phrases, one search)
Microbial fuel cell interpretative dance art project.
I already mentioned the Beer Cures Anthrax one above...
Top THAT! (Though I've got to admit, "null enema" is pretty good...)

I was kinda surprised by some improbable phrases that didn't return my site near the top. There are some especially improbable sites out there.

blue aardvark cream cheese
alphabetized zen hamster
book report puzzle cave
finger trap smoke cloud
crazy blue culture iceberg

 

I got a few obvious ones to start with:

-Stupid Reality (No great surprise there)
-Stupid Kirk Cameron Pain (Hehe)
-My Brain Exploding
-Atheist Kung Fu

But then I realized that because I use so much sarcasm in my arguments, a lot of people were getting my blog through search terms that were the opposite of what I was saying. So I went for reverse vanity and got number one for:

-Stupid Reality Believes in Biblical Literalism
-Stupid Reality Contributes to Global Warming
-Stupid Reality has Broken the Internet

But my personal favorite would have to be:

-Stupid Reality is Pope of the Catholic Church

Hehe.

I am first three hits (on three different blogs of mine) for

unwiped anal orifice (no quotes needed)

It's about Horowitz, of course.

Coturnix - "The World's Fair" is now in second place for unwiped anal orifice - which was an interesting sentence to type.

Actually, The World's Fair seems to have taken #1 for unwiped anal orifice. Congrats to Ben and Dave!

severed leg heroes

goodwill monkey statue

embryonic rubber chicken

one-legged dutch people

one-eyed freaky thing

Here are mine:

1. "reasonable conservative"
2. "i have not actually read this book"
3. "narnia made me a born-again christian"
4. "i am paris hilton"
5. "michael ledeen is dead"

and one bonus one:
"can this guy really be this idiotic?"

killus returns my web page and not my blog.

I get #1 blog hits on four single words:

semi-karma
trademarksism
vertkrieg
vuutle

I've located 18 other search strings that do the trick without quotes, including some real favorites:

brittle strategies
John Galt is a slan
fox hollow cafe lena
creepy little smile
death rays and disintegrators
playing the rent
max headroom stirner
magic market fairy dust
privation morality
tihs not typo
dorothy slave girl of oz

"Son of On the Road" requires quotes, but anytime I can claim jump territory from Mad Magazine, I am triumphant.

Here are my five

"on the playing of violins" (3)
gradatim ferociter (687)
bonk and flying fish (17,000)
burnt pyjama story (92,300)
facebook students and porn (1,650,000!)

ferociter (17,000) entered as a single word also provides me a number one placing.

I really don't know what this list says about me or my interests.