Instantly! This product gives you an immediate
Save!
It's like getting a thousand gold coins in Super Mario
Brothers all at once!
Doubters say it works via the placebo effect, but why not
try it, if it could give you eternal life?
(source)
See how serene the model appears? That's pretty persuasive!
(Of course, she's really just a professional model. On Valium. The selection of a god is a very personal choice.)
Apply directly to the head!