According to the Christian Science Monitor, the Israeli governmemt is donating 125 acres to a group of American evangelical leaders, including Pat Robertson, to build a Biblical theme park right where the Jordan river meets the Sea of Galilee. That's just perfect. Let's take the Holy Land and cheapen it by turning it into a theme park so the Disneyfication of the world will be comiplete.
Let's have guys in Jesus costumes with big foam heads wandering around blessing people and having their picture taken with the kids.
Let's have booths selling deep-fried manna on a stick.
Let's have a game set up where the kids get to play Peter and have to keep Jesus from scoring a shot in a basket; if they deny Jesus three times, they get 30 pieces of silver.
Let's have a Herod's Slaughter of the Innocents ride, and let's import the Demon Drop from Cedar Point and make it a real demon drop.
Let's have a Hall of Great Christian Leaders where you can watch John Calvin burn Michael Servetus alive every hour on the hour, and you can read Martin Luther's instructions on how to burn the homes of the "dirty Jews".
I'm sure my creative readers can come up with more. And yes, if you participate in this mockery, don't turn to God when a natural disaster hits your home. When you're up to your eyeballs in locusts and frogs, just remember that you laughed at this.
Ed, Ed, Ed, how could you forget to mention the Noah's Flood flume ride? They'll have little Ark shaped boats, holding eight passengers each of course, that float around viewing dioramas with animatronic animals (especially dinosaurs) and sinners trying to escape the rising Flood waters and begging passengers (to late) to be let onto their Ark.
Then after the Flood has drowned every living thing the little Arks can float through a sea of simulated bloated and rotting corpses of the damned and finally, after a few waterfall drops, come to rest on a miniature mount Ararat to be disembarked.
Great family fun!
Troy: at the end of the Flood ride, will couples (hetero only, of course) do their part to replenish the Earth as soon as they see new land?
Ed: now you warn me about laughing at your jokes. Thanks for nothing...
Several years ago, I suggested that Jerusalum should be turned over to Disney for a theme park. The Israelis and Palestinians could make millions off the American Christian visitors.
You could have some of those booths like at the fair. Instead of throwing softballs at bowling pins you could throw stones at women who commit adultery.
Gee, do you suppose they will have a mockup of the Temple of Jerusalem around which moneychangers and usurers will have little tables (right next to the ATM's i am sure) that the various Jesus imitators can recreate living history by smashing the tables and throwing the scheckles all about?
And there would have to be a Saul conversion ride for kids to relive that dramatic moment, then at the end they can write a bunch of letters to their friends (online of course).
Is Kent ("Dr. Dino") Hovind involved? I do hope they offer souvenir scary lifelike leprosy scabs! Fool your friends--unclean!
A giantic needle stuck in the ground! And a string of camels you can lead through the eye, for a mere $40,000 USD! Instant salvation for the wealthy!
Since it hasn't been said already, let me be the first to say: Israel is just doing this to deflect Palestinian suicide bombers away from Jewish areas towards the Christian areas.
I'm going to laugh my ass off when all the tourists mistake the inevitable suicide bombers for actors on the "Crusades" ride and try to have their picture taken next to a guy with a semtex undershirt.
I know this sounds a bit harsh, but evangelical European Christians in the middle-east are kinda like what would happen if you send stoned-out hippies into a war zone...oh, wait, didn't the US already try that? How did it turn out again?
Personally, I'm looking forward to riding Lot's Daughters. I heard that ride is one you'll never forget.....I've said too much.