That's the sound of a statistician or scientist laughing because s/he has some really cool software and didn't pay a dime for it, because it is open source.
Since we are talking about R, I thought I'd point you to a couple of screen shots. Here it is running on a Mac, and here it is running on a Linux box.
These images are about 200 K or so in size, and they come to us courtesy of The R Project for Statistical Computing
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Have you been getting bitten by a lot of spiders lately? Are you concerned about Brown Recluse Spiders?
Well, I know people don't like to hear this, but those spider bites you woke up with this morning were probably not spider bites. Spiders don't really bite people.
Let's say you have a thousand of your friends in a large field, and every one of them has exactly two coins - one penny and one dime - in his pocket. Or her pocket, as the case may be. No exceptions, they all have those and only those two coins.
".... The car stopped on a dime. Unfortunately, the dime was in Mr. Rococco's Pocket...." and other great moments.
If you don't know Firesign Theater, then a) your soul is empty and b) you won't know who Peter Bergman is/was.
On August 1, voters rejected Connie Morris's bid to return for another 4 years on the Kansas Board of Education.
I've installed R on my MacBook Pro but haven't had the time to put it through its paces or dig much into the tutorial. I really need to, if only to show how often my automatic monitor and restart script detects and corrects Blackboard webserver failures.
A bit of log parsing, a bit of statistical wizardry, and I should get some pretty pictures of Blackboard periodically crapping itself. I might find some interesting correlations - who knows? It's a long shot, but there's probably a finite, non-zero probability that something other than greedy corporate ineptitude is to blame for Blackboard's awful reliability. I won't rule it out but I'm not holding my breath either...