To a dog, a balloon is a rock that floats.
To a dog, a lever is a perch for stoats.
To a dog, particle decay1 is not about nooks
To a dog, gravity is just another way to puke.
To a dog, a quantum is a kibble
To a dog, a quark is to nibble.
To a dog, where the yard ends begins the cosmos
To a dog, periodic tables2 iz a no-nos.
To a dog, dark matter is what cats must do
To a dog, string theory is for cats too.
To a dog, it is better to sleep
To a dog, don't tickle the heap.3
____________________________
Notes
1Bone munching
2Do not take food off the table. Periodically.
3A veiled reference to "tickling the dragon's tail" during early A-bomb research. Dogs prefer if you tickle their stomach instead.
Why this poem?
More like this
When I first got Arnie-man, first thing I did was watch all of the Dog Whisperer DVDs available at that time. Dude has a whole pack of pit bulls, I wanted his advice on how to raise a proper Arnie-man.
Whenever the big dog over the back fence barks, our little dog goes racing to the back door, barking like crazy. Forget the fact that if the two dogs actually came muzzle to muzzle, the other dog would eat ours with one mouthful.
I am horribly envious. I am speaking of the Village Dog Project, some current research going on that looks very cool.
Chad Orzel might disagree with this. Emmie seems to know enough physics to understand that a balloon isn't a rock that floats.