The last chance to win a huge illustrated encyclopaedia of science!
And so we come to the end of our delightful foray into the thrill and passion for science of you, dear readers. It's been absolutely wonderful, and I've really enjoyed all your comments. I wish had a book for each of you.
So I opened the mighty SCIENCE: THE DEFINITIVE VISUAL GUIDE, edited by the always-excellent Adam Hart-Davis, and who should I find but ultimate invention-master and scientific entrepreneur Thomas Edison! Now, I think we can all agree that Edison was a bit of an asshole. It is true, for example, that he travelled the US electrocuting animals in an effort to persuade people of the danger of Tesla's alternating current in contrast to his own patented direct current. Patents, Edison like those too. He had lots of them (1,093 in the US alone). In fact, the whole reason the US film industry is in Hollywood is because it was as far away from Edison as they could get, where film-makers could contravene his patents with impunity.
But still, the fact remains that Edison made a good business out of invention. Given that the current political climate in the UK sees fit to house the Department for Science as a subsiduary of the Department for Business, and public funding is to be directed at those areas of science with the greatest promise of economic benefit, here's today's question and the final chance to win a copy of the huge SCIENCE book:
What would you invent in order to make lots and lots of money?
It doesn't have to be good for mankind, or even useful. But it would be nice to show the UK Government where 'science for profit' will lead us...
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I would invent the Royal Mint.
Alternatively I'd cook up the following:
Ingredients:sugar,glucose syrup,hydrogenated vegatable oil,fruit juice(3%)(made with concentrated apple,orange,lemon,raspberry,strawberry jucies)citric acid,starch,gelling agent(gellan gum,gum arabic)emulslfler(E473),flavourings,colour(E162)
A video game that discovers mental aberrations and blind-spots in the analytical mind and, by rewarding successful resistance, teaches the mind properly tuned skepticism.
More seriously I would, advances in technology and neuroscience permiting, create a device often postulate in pop-neuroscience books. A device which allows people to experience and see other peoples brainwaves as their own thoughts via (no doubt) highly complex and fine grained neural nets and high powered computers housed in a large pair of shoes. Thus the invention would be to be able to literally put yourself in someone elses shoes.
Perhaps a touch unrealistic and not what your really looking for.
More realistically I'd look into the idea that an excess of tetragens cause morning sickness in pregnancy and look to develop nutritious meals (for mother and baby) that are morning sickness proof. (Whether it worked or not I'm fairly sure with a small reduction in scruples someone could make millions from that idea).
I would invent a hyper-inflation-o-matic. Soon enough I would be getting paid £1,000,000 pro rata before tax.
Yay! Loads of money! Oh no! Nearly worthless money!
It would be ironic, like getting rid of everyone on earth to get some free time to read, then getting into Dan Brown in a big way.
I would invent a prediction machine that would allow me to predict the winning numbers in the lottery or the right places to scratch on a lottery card so I could win big bucks :)
A mind reading machine. Who doesn't want one of those?
Stock market predictor. So that I could gain insane amounts of money without causing major suspicions (i.e. winning the lottery 3 times in a row) and also allow me to reinvest back into the economy so that everyone can gain (even if minimal) from my money making!
I would invent a substitute for sleep. That way I'd have time for work AND play. Anything would be fine, so long as it was not a permanent condition, I would still want to sleep when I fell like it. Also, I think I'd keep it a secret. If everyone could suddenly do without sleep, I'd probably have to start working during some of those free hours!
An inexpensive to purchase, easy to use, non-polluting cheap energy device--a la Steorn (har!). Each house would have one of their very own, and power outages would be a thing of the past! Each car would have one, the oil companies would have to shift to plastics entirely, and the rate of pollution from automobiles would plummet! Third-world countries would be able to power water-purification plants, living quarters, and more!
Woot!
And I'd get rich and famous, too!
Man, if I could think of something to invent to make lots and lots of money I probably wouldn't be trying so hard to win a free copy of a book. Though I suppose if profits are the driving force, research and development would best be put into some new type of porn machine.
I'm not sure if I'm allowed to do this, I had initially said a stock predictor, but after further speculation, I think a perpetual motion machine would be the invention to make me lots of money.
So I want to invent a perpetual motion machine.
A car that runs on tap water and seats 7 with 350 horsepower, all wheel drive, and a latte machine under the radio.
Aside from the obviously necessary renewable energy source alluded to several times before, or teleportation (or anti-gravity or any of the other major sci-fi tropes) I would want to invent genetically engineered crops that are both edible, and purify water supplies. A rice crop that could remove pollutants from water and fix them solely in non-edible parts of the crop would be incredibly useful.
Am I eligible for this even though I'm in the US? Oh well, here goes...I would invent the lie detector wand. Simply point it at any handy politician (or anyone else for that matter) and a red light goes on if they are lying. Maybe two red lights would be a better idea, in case one burns out from constant use. Then I would offer to sell it to the government, which would willingly pay any sum to suppress this dangerous technology. Riches, if not fame, would soon be mine!
I wouldn't invent anything for lots of money. I'd take a bunch of random herbs from my kitchen windowsill, stuff them into pills, slap a "NATURAL, ORGANIC, HERBAL, ANTIOXIDANT!" label on it, and then sell it for $20 a bottle. I'll be filthy rich while all the rest of you would still be in the testing phases of your product. Mhuahahah.
Wait was there an ethical component to this question?
OK, I'm finally back from London and it's time to pick a winner. I do like how subversive you all were with your suggestions. I think I'm rubbing off on you. (ew)
Anyway, the results are in and Random.org's choice is...
...
#3. Bret Weinstein!
Congratulations Bret, please send your details to winner@sciencepunk.com to claim your prize!
Thank you everyone who played, the real winner is me for having so many awesome readers.
DANG!!! i didn't get my submission in. what, with the world ending on oct 21 and all, i was too busy panicking to think of an invention.
but, if it did, it would be:
Mr. Fusion.
Am I eligible for this even though I'm in the US? Oh well, here goes...I would invent the lie detector wand. Simply point it at any handy politician (or anyone else for that matter) and a red light goes on if they are lying. Maybe two red lights would be a better idea, in case one burns out from constant use. Then I would offer to sell it to the government, which would willingly pay any sum to suppress this dangerous technology. Riches, if not fame, would soon be mine!