Pointless polls
pharyngula | September 4, 2008This is a danged ugly poll, accompanying an interview with the slimy Ken Ham. It asks,
Regarding creation and evolution, I believe:
The universe was created in six days as described in Genesis.
Evolution is true, but God began and/or directs it.
Evolution is true, and religion has nothing to do with it.
Answer 2 is winning, with answer 3 dead last. Can you all fix that, please?
pharyngula | August 28, 2008
Two things I find absurd are people who see Jesus in random patterns, and internet polls that try to impose patterns in noise. Here's something that does both: a moth was found with speckles that are supposed to look like Jesus.
"His hair right here and you can see the mustache and the beard and there's a little slit right there that looks like His mouth and when he would move the mouth would open so it looked like he was trying to talk to you."
Kirk Harper spotted the moth on an RV trailer Monday, and right away could tell it was unique.
"I immediately thought it looked like Jesus and…
pharyngula | August 25, 2008In reaction to the Freedom from Religion Foundation's billboards, FoxNews asks, "What's your reaction to the 'Imagine No Religion' billboards?". Unfortunately, you only get your choice of two poor answers: "I'm not offended…it's free speech" and "I'm offended…America needs religion". What about "I'm offended…but it's free speech"?
Sadly, "America needs religion", the worst of the two, is currently leading with 56% of the vote.
pharyngula | August 22, 2008So…Do you believe God has intervened to revive patients that doctors ruled were hopeless cases? 63% of the respondents in Eastern Iowa say "yes". Maybe we can disillusion them.
pharyngula | August 19, 2008Right now, this one's a tough choice: Who would win in a free-for-all, anything-goes cage match?. The top two contenders are PZ "The Violator" Myers and Christopher "Drunken Monkey" Hitchens, with me in the lead…probably because the thought of a man nicknamed "The Violator" and a reputation for tentacle mayhem is too terrifying to contemplate.
pharyngula | August 19, 2008What do you think? Would the world be better off without religion?
Of course, religion is only a symptom: what would really make the world better off would be if people were smarter and made important decisions rationally. That's even less like than growing out of religion, unfortunately.
pzminion | August 18, 2008CNN has a poll in need of Pharyngulisation:
"Do you believe God's intervention could save a family member even if doctors say treatment would be futile?"
Naturally, 'God' is an assumed reality in this scenario. Go crash that bastard.
~Danio
pzminion | August 18, 2008Canoe's recent poll asks: Do you believe physicians should have the right to refuse medical treatment if it is against their beliefs? Scroll down to the bottom of the right hand side of the page to find the poll.
To clarify, as it's been brought up that this is a poorly worded poll: based on the story behind it, it is referring to doctors who refuse their patients medical treatment that will help them based on their religious beliefs.
But nevermind anyways. Apparently this poll was closed just after I posted it. So ignore the link, but feel free to comment on the topic if you like.
Now…
pzminion | August 17, 2008OK, I'm sure you're all dying to crash a poll that really needs it. I've seen a bunch of you begging for this one in the comments of the last few posts. So here it is...
msnbc asks: Should the phrase 'In God we Trust' be removed from US currency?
Right now the poll is at 49% yes, and 51% no. Obviously we have some work to do. Get to it!
From LisaJ
pharyngula | August 6, 2008Today's target is the website for the credulous Australian TV program, The One, which claims to be searching for someone with magical mind powers. The poll asks, "Are you a believer or a sceptic?"
70% of Australian voters in this poll are currently calling themselves believers. Let's embarrass them with a worldwide showing of skeptics. (This might be a tough one: I suspect many more people watch TV than will read this post.)
pharyngula | August 5, 2008I always wonder who the "you" is that online pollsters think they're addressing. I think they're talking right to us atheists, so you should answer their question: Do you believe in God or a supreme being?
pharyngula | August 4, 2008Tony Sidaway informs me that a lot of people have been clicking for Jesus — this new documentary that is being aired in England very shortly has roused the creationist hordes (OK, creationist dozens) to click furiously on its TV Guide entry to downrate it. It's pointless and trivial — they haven't even seen it! This is the perfect occasion to marshal our godless thousands to stampede the site and teach them how to properly trivialize web polls. Go ahead, go to the UK TV Guide site, scroll down to Channel 4, and click on the 8pm showing of "The Genius of Darwin". Vote however you want — giving…
pharyngula | July 30, 2008Here's one way to foil a pharynguloid poll invasion: limit your poll answers to those that aren't even wrong. Try to answer the question of"When does life begin?" — your only choices are at birth, at conception, at some stage, with a god (?), and the ever-useful "I don't know". Conception is winning right now, when everyone knows the correct answer is approximately 4 billion years ago. There is no dead stage in the cycle of life!
The alternative answer is "after the kids all move out", but that option isn't listed, either.
pharyngula | July 30, 2008So how about this one: Should atheists be barred from public office?
It's mostly going our way already, but would you believe a quarter of the votes so far say "yes"?
pharyngula | July 7, 2008You people keep sending them to me, and as long as I'm swamped with work they're at least a quick and easy blog post. So forgive me, but when I saw the results on this poll that asks,
"Should prayer and the Ten Commandments be allowed in schools?", I couldn't resist.
92% say yes. I know that not all Kentuckians are that dumb. Help their image by adjusting these poll results to something more sensible.
pharyngula | July 7, 2008This one is on CNN: Is it OK for states to issue car license plates with religious messages?
Boy, when you put it that simply, isn't it obvious? Since when should a state government be in the business of promoting religious slogans? Let people buy a nice religious license plate frame from a private business, or slap a bumper sticker on their car.
(It's good to see that "no" is in the lead, but this poll is about evenly split so far.)
pharyngula | July 5, 2008The Family Research Council asks, "Do you believe that America, as a nation, was founded upon Christian principles?
97% of the clueless ideologues at the Patriarchy Research Council think so.
pharyngula | July 1, 2008Oh, man…you know you've got colossal wackaloonery when you find a website titled "Remember Thy Creator" — but then you discover that they are sponsoring a YEC conference at the end of July, that they list luminaries like John Morris and Ken Ham, and that they've got a front page article demanding that people reject the idea that the earth is old because the Bible says so, and best of all, they've got an open online poll. "Do you think Creation should be taught, along with Evolution, in public schools?"
Go on, skew that sucker.
pharyngula | June 30, 2008It's the nature of these things to trivialize. Yet again, media hysteria fuels the absurd fear that flipping a switch in Switzerland will Destroy The World…and they're running a poll to let non-physicists guess at the risks. This one has two polls: "Is the gaint[sic] particle smasher worth the risk?" and "Which do you think is more likely to destroy the world? Human actions or natural disaster?"
Go ahead, vote. Everyone's opinion is of equal value in matters of nuclear physics.
pharyngula | June 27, 2008One of our least favorite institutions, Focus on the Family, has been trying to corrupt the educational system of New Zealand by sending creationist garbage to the high schools. It doesn't seem to be a serious threat — so far, they're pretty sensible down there — but there is one internet poll asking whether schools should teach ID.
Go express your opinion!