Pointless polls
pharyngula | January 11, 2009It looks like Pharyngula is back online…at least I'm seeing new comments appear. Now let's see if I can post anything.
How about another pointless poll? In a web page for some TV show I've never seen, ABC is asking, "Did Arlene have the right to refuse to vaccinate two of her sons?" (I presume this refers to some fictitious incident in the program). Alas, the anti-vaxing kooks have seized upon it, and the vote is now at:
70% say "YES - The parent has a right to act on their beliefs."
30% say "NO - Her decision put her sone and hundreds of other people at risk for the measles."
Wait, measles?…
pharyngula | January 2, 2009I have just returned from my last long drive of the season, finally and regretfully shuttling the last beloved member of the Myers clan off to the distant Minneapolis transportation hub. Now, at last, I can relax, shed of my patriarchal obligations (speaking of which, the hair is getting a bit long and wild, and the beard is looking a bit ferocious…I may have to do something to tame them). I've also feeling the fatigue of waging the war on Christmas — my trigger finger is all calloused, and the recoil bruises on my shoulder would make you weep to see them — so it's nice to have a little…
pharyngula | January 1, 2009It's like waving a red cape in front of a bull…a poll that asks, Will PZ crash this poll?
I refuse to be baited. The correct answer, of course, is no.
pharyngula | December 23, 2008There's another blog crashing polls — which I must encourage. Go help Sadly, No! swing a wingnut poll. It'll be fun! Well, except if you actually read the entries. Then you might cry.
pharyngula | December 20, 2008The pharynguloid hordes continue their reign of terror, marching through foreign lands and laying waste to their polls. Today, we crush Norway. An article about a faith healer wants to know whether you think this guy is a:
Placebo (23%)
Helbreder (healer) (61%)
Overtro (superstition) (9%)
Lureri (scamming) (8%)
I think he's a superstitious scammer who's taking advantage of the placebo effect, so basically anything but a healer. So go stem!
pharyngula | December 17, 2008It's time for all the Germans to speak up and say hello! We have a silly poll on a German site: Do you believe in the effectiveness of alternative medicine? "Ja" is leading 64:36. How can this be? The "Nein"s need reinforcements!
pharyngula | December 16, 2008About half* my ancestry is Scandinavian — equally split between Sweden and Norway — and one of the nice things about the Christmas holidays is the reconnection with family and tradition, so it's only appropriate that I urge you all to crash a Swedish poll. It's asking, Do you think schools should hold their commencement ceremonies in church?. So far, I'm shocked to see that secular Sweden is answering 69% "Ja" — is there some sneaky plan to get in there and desanctify the church, is the poll being mobbed by a religious minority, or (more likely, from my experience growing up with swarms of…
pharyngula | December 13, 2008Yeah, and next we'll have a really important poll on what color socks I should wear. Right now, you'll have to settle for answering this question: What do you think of the decision to block the "I Believe" license plate? The results so far:
Good. The plates are a violation of church and state 18.16 % (69)
I disagree with the ruling. I have a right to show my faith 63.95 % (243)
They should get rid of all vanity plates and have one standard design for the state 17.89 % (68)
The second, and so far winning (but you'll turn that around fast), choice is palpably stupid. Of course you have a right…
pharyngula | December 9, 2008AOL is running several polls on Bush's recent statements — they seem more shocked by the fact that he didn't believe the bible was literally true than that he doubted evolution. Anyway, have fun, but keep in mind that these are polls that are heavily trafficked so we probably won't make that big a dent…but let's shift 'em our way as much as we can.
Here are the four polls and their results so far:
Do you believe the Bible is literally true?
No50%
Yes50%
How close are George W. Bush's views on religion to your views?
Not at all41%
Somewhat36%
Very13%
Not sure10%
Which explanation about the…
pharyngula | December 4, 2008I have a suspicion that that photo of squid guts in the last post is going to make a few people feel squeamish, and now I'm going to show something even worse: Bill O'Reilly. <cue frantic screams from everyone…"More squid guts! Please! Anything but Billo!">
Of course Billo is outraged at the news from Washington state. How dare they allow atheists to express themselves? This is a Judeo-Christian nation, and only Christians are allowed to have a voice in the public square (Jews, too, as long as they're quiet and willing to pretend that they're pre-Christians).
He urges his listeners to…
pharyngula | December 3, 2008Yeah, poor Ken — he's still distressed that his attempt to prop up his credibility with the Cincinnati Zoo's was foiled. He's also complaining about an "atheist (a professor from the University of Minnesota-Morris)" who engineered his defeat. I wonder who that might be?
Even more foolishly, though, he cites an online poll to back up his claims.
The news website NKY.com (http://nky.cincinnati.com/) ran an online poll on the controversy. They gave the following options:
YES--The museum promotes a religious point of view that conflicts with the zoo's scientific mission.
NO--The promotion does…
pharyngula | December 3, 2008In a story that discusses the astrological signs of Obama's cabinet picks (humorously, don't worry), there is a poll: Are you a believer in astrology? It's going in a sensible direction, let's just tip it further.
Yes...absolutely!
5%Only when my horoscope comes true
12%Eh...kinda sorta
14%No!
67%1Not sure/No opinion
2%
pharyngula | November 29, 2008George Docherty, a pastor who claimed to have been responsible for convincing congress to stick "under god" into the pledge of allegiance, has died. In his honor, and a fitting honor it is, AOL is putting up a stupid poll: Should the phrase 'under God' be in the Pledge of Allegiance? Right now, the voting is 89% yes, 11% no. How about jazzing up his memorial with a rebuke?
pharyngula | November 24, 2008The Christian Coalition of America has created something called the 2008 American Values Survey. It is why we crash polls.
This particular poll is supposed to produce results that the Christian Coalition will present to congress as if it is a serious and representative sample of "American values" … which must be why they toss it out onto the web on a conservative website. This is not how you do a legitimate poll. This is how you bias your results.
So let's all show them that American values include atheists and agnostics and humanists. More importantly, churn this badly designed poll so that…
pharyngula | November 18, 2008There is this strange site that has collected testimonials for the existence of god. If I were a believer, I'd be embarrassed at the painful lack of logic in these rationalizations. To the question "I believe in god because…", answers are non sequiturs like "because he is the creator" or "because god is real" or "because I don't do bad things".
There is also, of course, a poll, because nothing says shallow like adding a pointless poll to a web page. The question is " Does God exist?. The answers so far suggest that some doubters have already started pharyngulating it.
No! 51.6%
Yes 47.5%
Not…
pharyngula | November 11, 2008They really had to twist the language to come up with this question: Do you think the majority of Americans are okay with this sort of 'change' -- an expansion of special protections for federal employees based on their sexual behavior? I think what they really mean is, "Do most Americans think it is okay to treat people equally, and that they should disregard their private sexual preferences?"
Sadly, only 4.38% agree, and 93.69% think discrimination is hunky-dory.
pharyngula | November 10, 2008How can I resist when they name it THE GOD POLL? There are several questions there: Does god exist (currently tied between yes and no)? Is there life after death (roughly tied, with yes in a slight lead)? Do humans have souls (yes is leading, 50%:34%)? Can an atheist be ethical (Yes is way ahead, fortunately)? Is evolution accurate (yes is at 64%, not bad)?
Vote on 'em all!
I think we have discovered the most pathetic online poll ever. The creator is jacking around the numbers now to whatever he feels like; he has left a comment here to complain; he's playing a little game of sockpuppetry ("…
pharyngula | November 5, 2008I don't know that I should be encouraging the troop at Dr. Joan Bushwell's Chimpanzee Refuge to compete with me, but OK, it's a poll, anyone can join in. This one asks, Do you agree with the gay marriage bans?. It does have an interesting twist, in that the poll also displays the states of respondents, so you can see where Redneckistan is. Or another way to look at it is that you can vote to defend the honor of your state.
I don't know what it does with you non-Americans. Those bits of geography don't seem to exist on this map.
pharyngula | November 5, 2008The New Humanist Bad Faith Award poll is now open for voting. I nominated Sarah Palin, but I think she's well on her way to negligible irrelevancy now, so you might as well pick one of the others.
pharyngula | November 4, 2008Once you've voted in the poll that matters, you can go play on this Online Presidential Poll. I'm pretty sure the results won't be binding, so you can vote for me or Immanuel Kant (wait, what? He left off Nietzsche?)
John McCain
4%
8
Barack Obama
17%
35
Rev. Jeremiah Wright
2%
4
William Ayers
1%
2
Sarah Palin
0%
0
A Moose
4%
8
PZ Myers, aka, "Pharyngula"
2%
5
Glenn Reynolds, aka, "InstaIgnorance"
0%
0
Immanuel Kant
12%
26
Any member of the PGR Advisory Board
0%
1
Any member of the Texas Taliban
0%
1
Jason Stanley
4%
9
Paul Krugman, Nobel Laureate
9%
19
Gary Becker, Nobel Laureate
3%
6
Saul…