Pointless polls
pharyngula | May 21, 2009I took one look at the hideous Washington Times website and almost had mercy on you, dear readers — it's that ugly that I had second thoughts about inflicting it on others. But then, as you knew I would, I said "screw it" and decided if you weren't tough enough to cope with bad web design on a mad man's website, you wouldn't be Pharyngula material anyway.
Of course, it's not that far off kilter for a cult newspaper, but still…we can do better.
Should parents be allowed to refuse cancer treatments for their children?
ResponsePercent
Yes39%
No47%
Undecided10%
Other2%
I wonder, if I meddle in…
pharyngula | May 20, 2009Would you believe what kind of inane question they're asking now?
Do you believe you evolved from an ape-like creature?
Yes - 7.10%
No - 91.07%
Unsure - 1.83%
Gaaaah. I am an ape-like creature. My mother and father are ape-like creatures, as are my brothers and sisters and grandparents and distant relatives and ancient ancestors, going back tens of millions of years. And I'm proud of them all, every one of them, except for the lackwitted atavisms who squat in squalid ignorance at Christian news sites, congratulating each other on how their ancestry is only 6,000 years old…and every one…
pharyngula | May 20, 2009This will be a tough one to dent since it already has tens of thousands of votes, but I'm sure you can give it a little bump. The Gideons have been getting aggressive and invading high school cafeterias and leaving bibles scattered about, and AOL addresses this invasion of secular schools with a hard-hitting internet poll.
What do you think about the Bibles left on tables inside public schools?
I'm for it
58%
I'm against it
28%
It doesn't matter
14%
Are you Christian?
Yes
75%
No
16%
It's personal
9%
I wonder how the people voting in favor of giving kids Bibles would feel if it had been…
pharyngula | May 13, 2009I can hardly believe that Bill O'Reilly wants our opinion, but there it is, he's asking, we should deliver.
The O'Reilly Factor wants to know what you think the WORST Entertainment TV show series of all time is. No news shows or specific episodes should be given as answers. The winning show may be featured in a new "American TV Icons" segment!
What do you think is the WORST Entertainment TV show series of all time?
Isn't the answer obvious? This has to be a trick question. It's got to be "O'Reilly Factor".
His restriction that it not be a news show doesn't disqualify it, since the O'Reilly…
pharyngula | May 9, 2009Secularists in Indiana wanted to run a simple message on buses in Bloomington: "You can be good without god". The transit authority refused their money because the message was "too controversial". Too controversial? Is it their position that it is controversial that atheists can be good? I would love to see a debate on that issue: let's line up everyone in the transit authority who thinks atheists are always going to be evil, get their names and faces and opinions on record, and see if this really is controversial.
Since it is unlikely that anyone will 'fess up to that, we're going to have to…
pharyngula | May 7, 2009He has put up a poll on his website that asks a simple question.
May 7th is the National Day of Prayer. Will you join us in prayer on Thursday?
Yes88%
No10%
I don't know.3%
Hmmmm. Let's see. I think…
NO.
pharyngula | May 6, 2009You should be flattered. The Germans are asking you — yes, you, that person sitting at your computer — what you think of the Catholic Church. When Germany asks, you must answer.
What do you think of the Catholic Church?
35% Sie ist eine gute und wichtige Institution (it is a good and important institution)
20% Sie hat gute und schlechte Seiten (It has good and bad times)
34% Sie ist überflüssig (It is superfluous)
11% Sie ist mir egal (It doesn't matter to me)
That first answer needs to be knocked down a peg or two, I think.
pharyngula | May 6, 2009You know how I feel about the uselessness of internet polls, so you can guess how my feelings are mixed by this one. It's a good cause: grants are being given for preservation of historic places in Boston. But they're allocating funds on the basis of votes in an internet poll! This isn't even a proper popularity contest, because polls are so easily skewed.
Anyway, go vote. I went for the New England Aquarium for obvious reasons, but there are several worthy sites: a museum of African American history, for instance, or a ballet theatre. There are even churches (lots of churches) on the list,…
pharyngula | May 1, 2009Can you bear yet another poll today? The initial results of this one, before all of you readers get to work and use your magic clicky fingers, is mildly interesting. The readership of Christianity Today consists primarily of scientific illiterates and wishful dreamers, split between people who seriously believe the earth is 6000 years old, those who think the Bible is a science text and are willing to stretch a metaphor, and fuzzy thinkers who want a god to have guided natural processes.
I imagine the readership here can rock their little world.
What best describes your view of the origins of…
pharyngula | May 1, 2009WHY DO PEOPLE STILL BELIEVE IN THIS HOMEOPATHY CRAP?
Do you think homeopathy can help in the current swine flu pandemic?
Yes (71.4 %)1484 votes
No (13.3 %)276 votes
Can't say (2.3 %)47 votes
Yes, but won't be allowed to! (13.0 %)271 votes
The only way homeopathy could possibly help is by preventing dehydration...but why pay for an imaginary medicine when you can get that benefit from your water tap?
pharyngula | April 29, 2009You've all seen the hideous Florida license plates, right? Well, the Orlando Sentinel has a poll to see whether people think it's reasonable for a secular state government to be punching out plates endorsing a weird sectarian faith. So far, the kind of people who read the Sentinel think it is. I wonder what the kind of people who read Pharyngula think…
Should Florida lawmakers allow specialty state license plates with religious messages?
Yes. Floridians who are religious should have the right to pay more to show it on their plates. (3592 responses)
58.3%
Yes. Why is this any different than…
pharyngula | April 24, 2009There was a rally in LA for a group in favor of animal experimentation, Pro-Test, which also had a counter-rally by animal rights groups. You can guess which side I'm on in this debate: blocking experimentation on animals would kill biological research dead. The tactics of the anti-vivisectionists are also reprehensible and deserving of condemnation.
The Pro-Test group, an offshoot of an Oxford, England-based group founded in 2006, was organized by J. David Jentsch, a UCLA neuroscientist who was the target of a recent attack by anonymous animal-rights activists. In the attack, Jentsch's car…
pharyngula | April 22, 2009This is an old, tired joke that has just been posted on the site of a right-wing moron's radio show. I have heard it quite a few times before, usually by smug nitwits who think they've delivered a knock-out themselves.
A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in, looked to the ceiling, and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this…
pharyngula | April 17, 2009We were all greatly amused at the exchange between deer-in-the-headlights evangelical Todd Friel and Christopher Hitchens. Do you know what would make it even funnier? If Friel tried to twist the outcome by leaving it up to…an internet poll! He couldn't possibly be goofy enough to do that, could he?
Yes, he could.
If you listened to the Christopher Hitchens:
Was Todd's approach…
76% said:A) Just right.
7% said:B) Terrible.
17% said:C) Could have used more apologetics.
Vote fast, vote soon. This is a Christian radio evangelist's site, so you just know that as soon as the numbers start going…
pharyngula | April 16, 2009Obama is going to rouse the ire of the religious right yet further: he wisely opted not to endorse Jesus while giving a speech on economics by having a Christian symbol on the lectern covered up while he spoke. Good move, I think — let's not get secular economic decision making all muddled up with Catholicism.
Amidst all of the American flags and presidential seals, there was something missing when President Barack Obama gave an economic speech at Georgetown University this week -- Jesus.
The White House asked Georgetown to cover a monogram symbolizing Jesus' name in Gaston Hall, which Obama…
pharyngula | April 16, 2009Pleasant as it is to be acknowledged for our poll-smashing abilities, we really are a brutish, blunt instrument. The true masters of the poll hack are the denizens of 4chan (a name I mention with hesitation; it's like invoking Hassan-i Sabbah, and you really don't want to encourage these people to even look at you), who are able to shift even the biggest online polls at will. It shows how meaningless these polls really are when your position in them may be dictated by the happenstance of the first letter of your first name.
pharyngula | April 15, 2009Fort Wayne, Indiana wants to know about your religion, and they have chosen the highly scientific method of … an internet poll. And you know what those are worth!
Question: Do you identify with some form of the Christian religion?
Yes, and my faith is important to me. 62%
No. I'm religious but in a personal way. 10%
No. I'm of another faith. 1%
No. I'm an atheist or agnostic. 27%
Well, they asked. Let 'em know what the answer is.
pharyngula | April 14, 2009Look at this NASA photo of Pulsar B1509. Yes, it looks like a hand.
It's beautiful and fascinating.
Now look at the incredibly stupid poll the NY Daily News attached to it.
What do you think is captured on the recently released NASA photograph?
The hand of God 40%
A natural stellar formation 60%
My respect for humanity can only be restored if that 40% is reduced.
pharyngula | April 13, 2009It's an article about yet another Christian who was once an atheist, telling us how awful and unfulfilling life was until he found Jebus. The guy is a fool, and just to spice it up, they threw in…a poll! A poll that needs fixing!
Should creationism have a place in the curriculum?
54% are saying yes
46% are saying no
So fix it already. Go ahead and leave a comment there, too, although the comments so far all seem to be going our way anyway.
pharyngula | April 10, 2009Let's smash this silly poll about the status of the US.
President Obama said, 'We do not consider ourselves a Christian nation, or a Jewish nation or a Muslim nation. We consider ourselves a nation of citizens who are bound by ideals and a set of a values. How do you feel about those comments?
Offended - America is still a Christian nation - 78.4%
Agree - No one religion is more important - 10.0%
Agree - Our country is not based on religious beliefs - 9.3%
Don't care - 2.3%
Crazy. There's something these people need to understand: that the nation and its government are secular does not mean…