Advice From the 15th Century - and the 21st

Ever wonder how the art and science of medicine made it from medieval times to today without self-destructing, à; la alchemy? Meet Leonard of Bertapalia (1380?-1460), a prominent surgeon in Padua and Venice who was not only a dedicated anatomist but a visionary in the surgical arts. He authored one of the first texts on surgery of the brain and was a proponent of meticulous dissection, using every attempt to avoid infection or injury to the patient.

Leonard is best known for eight rules he wrote as a guide for the 15th century surgeon. In my opinion they should be memorized by all students who are choosing surgery as their career.

To . . . be the perfect surgeon, you must always bear in
mind these eight notations, and remembering them you will be
preferred to others. The first task . . . to become a good surgeon
should be to use his eyes. . . . Second, you must accompany
and observe the qualified physician, seeing him work before
you yourself practice. . . . Third, you must command the most
gentle touch in operating and treating lest you cause pain to the
patient. . . . Fourth, you must insure that your instruments be
sharp and unrusted whenever you cut anywhere. . . . Fifth, you
must be courageous in operating and cutting but timid to cut in
the vicinity of nerves, sinews and arteries, and, so as not to
commit error, you should study anatomy, which is the mother
of this art . . . perform your surgery cleverly and never operate
on human flesh as if you were working on wood or leather. . . .
Sixth, you must be kind and sympathetic to the poor, for piety
and humility greatly augment your reputation and the sick will
more freely commit themselves to your care. Seventh, you must
never refuse anything brought you as a fee, for the sick will
respect you more. Eighth, you must never argue about fees with
the sick, or indeed demand anything unless it be previously
agreed upon, for avarice is the most ignoble of vices and should
you be so inflicted, you will never achieve the reputation of a
good doctor.

Reading this makes me wish I had the chance to spend even one day with this great man. He must have been quite an inspiration to his students; in fact, I was so impressed by the thoughts of Leonard I took the liberty of altering them slightly, if only to serve as an updated guideline for budding physicians everywhere. They are below the fold, as they say:

To . . . be a perfect physician (let's face it - looking at you makes me wonder what Plato was smoking when he added "perfection" to The Forms, but don't take it personally, cheese-face), you must always bear in mind these eight notations, and remembering them you will be preferred to others (unless these "others" are all owned by the same hospital whereby, like a consanguineous clowder of cats, they refer only to each other). The first task . . . to become a good physician should be to use his eyes, especially when running past any sign that says "Piso Mojado". . . . Second, you must accompany and observe the qualified physician, although it is best to let him putt out before chipping to the green. . . . Third, you must command the most gentle touch in treating lest thou leaveth the patient with the unfortunate impression that thou art the jawbone of an ass, or parts further southward. . . Fourth, you must insure that your instruments be sharp and unrusted whenever you cut anywhere - and while we're at it do you mind studying a little harder in med school? Yes, we all know you need to take a break every now and then but the beer distributor called to find out how many kegs you want this week . . . Fifth, you must be courageous in operating and cutting but timid to cut in the vicinity of nerves, sinews, arteries, live electrical wires, DVD wrappers and your son's fingernails. Perform your skills cleverly and never perform an exam as if you were working on wood or leather. . . .Sixth, you must be kind and sympathetic to the poor, for piety and humility greatly augment your reputation and the sick will more freely commit themselves to your care, and after all don't the liberals insist that you work for free anyway? Seventh, you must never refuse anything brought you as a fee, not even the skin of the sprightly Marmota flaviventris, which by the way makes a nice evening wrap for the missus. Eighth, you must never argue about fees with the sick (but feel free to yell at insurance companies), or indeed demand anything unless it be previously agreed upon, especially if the dealer tries to hit on soft 17. Avarice and indifference are the two most ignoble vices and should you be so inflicted, you will never achieve the reputation of a good doctor. Also, lighten up. Laugh a little. Nobody likes a sourpuss - makes us think you regret your career choice. What kind of a washout wants to be remembered for that?