"Signs Your Unicorn Is Cheating On You" -- a whole book of lists

A smashing product plug -- this is Mountain Man Dance Moves, the McSweeney's Book of Lists.
"SIGNS YOUR UNICORN IS CHEATING ON YOU" and "THINGS KOALA BEARS WOULD SAY" below the fold.
(By the way, bad news on a prior product plug., Encyclopedia Brown..., as it's been pulled from the shelves, or simply not released, because of legal wranglings.)

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I edit this page -- McSweeney's Lists -- and put a link to some select, science-related ones a few months ago. (By the by: some of the lists in the book are not at the site anymore, but some are -- including, again, Dave's "Chapter Titles from My Creationist Textbook" masterpiece.) But now the book is out and so everyone pile on. We have the opportunity -- "we" means you and me and everyone we know and everyone they know and then random hangers on and those caught in a viral marketing campaign and forever more -- to place this thing rightly within the upper echelon of cultural austerity. Think Tolstoy, Faulkner, Hemingway, Updike, McSweeney's Lists. That's where we are. Make it happen. Samples you ask? Here are a few samples:

"SIGNS YOUR UNICORN IS CHEATING ON YOU"
by Christopher Monks

Seems emotionally distant and uninterested
Wears fancier tail ribbons
Starts working out at the gym
Quickly closes its laptop when you walk into its enchanted den
Credit card bill full of charges to area elf lodges
The "three C's": confrontation, criticism, and complaints
Every time you say the word "magic" it sighs forlornly
Is making a movie with Angelina Jolie

and for the natural historians out there:

"THINGS KOALA BEARS WOULD SAY"
by Timothy Weinmann

Yay!
Love me!
Climbing trees is fun!
Let's volunteer at a soup kitchen this Christmas.
My tongue is funny!
Eating leaves is fun!
Will you help me think of something nice we can do for Grandma?
Look, a pouch!
Let's prevent a forest fire!
No, you're the cutest ever.
Camus is boring. I find Karl Jaspers's philosophy much more enlightening.
Wheeee!
Let's make cider!
I bet I'll live forever!

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