Hamster Science, etc.

I've been conferring with the Uncyclopedia recently. Legitimate knowledge, all, it being on the web.

What is it? "The Uncyclopedia is the greatest achievement of mankind at the height of his splendor." Here's what I found, a propos to Scienceblogs:

The Uncyclopedia on Science:

Science (pronouced "throat-warbler-mangrove") is a word used by Professor L. Ron Hubbard in 1952 at a public lecture in Kansas. He spent most of the lecture defining the term but began with: "Science would be a study of knowledge". It is a new religious movement based on knowledge about spiritual matters and was presented as a philosophy. It was characterized by the Church of Science in 1953 as an "applied religious philosophy". The current Church of Science was first established in 1954, "The word Science literally means 'the study of truth.' It comes from the Latin word 'scio' meaning 'knowing in the fullest sense of the word'.

I don't want to stick my neck out and claim that it's highbrow satire, but I will stick my neck and say it's not highbrow satire but the kids, they love it. Oh, and before I lose my train of thought, famous scientists, I should note (as they do) include Tom Cruise, Beck, John Travolta, Jenna Elfman, Kirstie Alley*, Chick Corea, Isaac Hayes, Jason Lee, Juliette Lewis, Doug E. Fresh, and Greta Van Susteren.

More samples below the fold, on Intelligent Rotation, Chemistry, Geology, and Hamsters in Microwaves.

On "Intelligent Rotation":

Many thousands of years ago when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, man started to wonder about the origin of the universe. One of these early scientists was a caveman named Galileo. He was the first to create the theory that the Earth stood still and that God moved all the other planets around by blowing at them. After centuries of refinement, the idea became widely accepted, enough so that it became the truth.

On Chemistry:

Chemistry is the branch of science concerned with blowing things up and poisoning people.

On Geology:

Geologists are known for their flamboyant manners that have been the subject of many popular, films, novels and college courses. Geologists are most classically portrayed as larger than life figures in pop culture known for their often excessive habits such as money, fame, fortune, sexual infidelity and sometimes violence. The lives that geologists live is often more scrutinized than their actual work

And finally, below, for no real good reason, a "Science recruiter introduces an E-meter to a potential convert. Such introductory audits are typically presented as "free stress tests"."


* Kirstie Alley was "the largest airship ever built by scientologists, a luxurious flying hotel constructed by Germany for trans-Atlantic passenger travel."

More like this

This is your mind on movies and celebrity press. Nuff said.

By Crudely Wrott (not verified) on 28 Nov 2006 #permalink

oh, c'mon! it's definitely highbrow satire...just look at chemistry, which actually *is* the branch of science where things blow up and people get poisioned. and the kids, yeah, we love it.