I Am Become a Suburban Yard Monkey

So, after noting that yesterday morning was grey and dismal, I headed over to work to take care of some grading and other sutff, and the clouds lightened up a bit. I went out to run some errands, and the sun came out. so I headed home, and what did I do?

Yard work. Rather than, say, sitting out in the sun with a good book, I spent the nice part of the afternoon mowing the lawn, planting seeds in the herb planters over on the side of the house (my stomach is gradually improving, so I feel safe putting in some basil, sage, parsely, and cilantro), and pulling up some miscellaneous weeds. Because, of course, the neighbors will think less of me if I fail to maintain a nice lawn.

I'm so bourgeois. But not quite bourgeois enough to pay the neighbor kids to mow the lawn for me...

(Physics garden blogging seems to work for Clifford, so I figure, what the hell... The other option is exam grading.)

Tags

More like this

Just before we turn the corner, a woman goes jogging past with a Golden Retriever. As we continue on our way, I can hear the Doberman three houses up barking at them as they go past. The windows muffle the sound, but I can make out a bit of it. "Get offa my lawn! Gonna bite you!
I see the brown streaks and spots and blotches all across your lawn, every brown area exactly like every other in its tone and hue, because all were caused by a single event, that being your misapplication of high-nitrogen fertilizer, as part of your misguided effort to make your lawn look like a
Another morning, another gastropod foray. Conditions in the yard were a little odd this morning, owing to the fact that our wee patch of lawn was watered last night. This means that conditions were moist in the vicinity of the lawn but fairly dry otherwise.
It's spring here in suburbia, which means my neighbors were all out this weekend hastening the doom of the planet by running their gas-powered lawn mowers. Not me-- I was, um, paying our neighbors' teenage son to mow our lawn. With a gas-powered lawn mower.

Why not replace at least half your lawn with native plants? That could let you spend a lot more time reading, while feeding birds and inspiring your neighbors to save water and fertilizer.

Around here, replacing half your lawn with native plants will get you nothing but scorn, if it doesn't outright violate your HOA bylaws.

Grass is a pathetic excuse for erosion prevention, and I find it aesthetically dull, but I have submitted to it as the path of least resistance. C'est la vie.