humor
oracknows | June 5, 2006Via The Onion (where else):
TALLAHASSEE, FL--Only months after abandoning a tenured position at Lehigh University, maverick chemist Theodore Hapner managed to disprove two of the three laws of thermodynamics and show that gold is a noxious gas, turning the world of science--defined for centuries by exhaustive research, painstaking observation, and hard-won theories--completely on its head.
The brash chemist, who conducts independent research from his houseboat, has infuriated peers by refusing to "play by the rules of Socrates, Bacon, and Galileo," calling test results as he sees them,…
pharyngula | June 5, 2006Let's test the proposition.
"The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions," the official said.
The answer?
No.
pharyngula | June 5, 2006
Well, sorta. I arrived back home around midnight last night, and to be honest, I feel like I need another six hours of sleep right now. I also feel like I need to reply to some of the comments on that last godless post. And I also know I need to go take care of my fish for a while. I'll be back in full ranty action in a little while, but meanwhile, contemplate this work of art, "Bob decided it was time to put his degree in philosophy to work."
oracknows | June 4, 2006Doing the random Technorati search, I happened to come across a disturbing statement. Indeed, our intrepid colon cleanser was not pleased when I forwarded this to him:
Eneman, real last name, Fleet, is an illegal immigrant worker.
We know that there are dirty jobs to be done in the world, and the proper ones to do those dirty jobs are aliens (the kind that don't travel a thousand light years to look up your ass, but very closely related.) Fleet formerly lived on a street in London named after him and decided that that part of London was so personally degrading that he felt it was necessary to…
oracknows | June 3, 2006A very unique date in history is fast approaching. Indeed, if you're Christian and religious, you probably already know what it is.
6/6/06.
The Date of the Beast. (OK, you have to ignore the "0" to get "666," the Number of the Beast, but everyone seems to be paying little attention to that little detail).
Not surprisingly, Hollywood is having a little fun with the date, releasing a remake of The Omen, a cheesy but nonetheless scary movie from the 1970's about the birth of the Antichrist (named Damien in the movie) and the havoc he wreaks. (I still recall being disturbed by two scenes from…
pharyngula | June 3, 2006
I'm gimping about NY today, and I should have read Bizarro before I left to get some fashion tips.
oracknows | June 1, 2006All you need is this.
Yes, it's the Jesus Pan.
Who needs to wait for miracles to produce things like the Jesus grilled cheese sandwich? Now you can make them yourself!
Prediction:
Coming soon....The Virgin Mary Pan!
Maybe you can think of other great products along these lines? Lenin, anyone?
pharyngula | June 1, 2006
Will I sign th' Pirate's Compact? Arrr. It be like askin' Blackbeard if he wants a tot o' rum before plunderin' yon fat merchanter.
Which reminds me…on me mission to New York tomorrow, I need to be askin' about Pirate Mode. Maybe a little proddin' with the cutlass will help.
pharyngula | May 31, 2006Change a few words in one of their news shorts, and it's perfect.
…are calling the park [blog] sensationalist and exploitative, but add that anything that gets people interested in science can't be all bad.
oracknows | May 28, 2006Worried about ghosts bothering you? What about demons possessing you? Or aliens abducting you for all sorts of strange experiments, complete with anal probes?
Well, fear no more! I've discovered just the thing. You need a Paranormal Restraining Order!
Feel like sinning and don't want to be subject to the Lord's wrath? This is just the thing! Tell the Big Guy to stay away and leave you alone!
Here are some handy guidelines that you might be in an abusive relationship with a paranormal entity and hence need a restraining order:
You frequently worry about how they will react to things you say or…
pharyngula | May 28, 2006Confirming my obvious un-Americanism, let me praise two things: Godlessness and Socialism. And here, watch a video that ties the two together.
(Actually, I'm not against America. I'm just for a godless America that cares about the welfare of its citizens.)
oracknows | May 28, 2006It's the middle of a long holiday weekend (well, here in the U.S., anyway). What better time to do a silly Internet quiz to pass the time while waiting to round? (Yes, I'm working all weekend.)
What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?
You will be smothered under a rug. You're a little anti-social, and may want to start gaining new social skills by making prank phone calls.Take this quiz!
Quizilla |Join
| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
Hmmm. Sounds about right.
I wonder what horrible Edward Gorey way others will die...
oracknows | May 27, 2006Hilarious. It incorporates what we know now from the prequels into what might have happened when Darth Vader had to tell the Emperor what happened at the end of the first Star Wars movie:
pharyngula | May 25, 2006Some guy has been nattering on for three years without delivering either the promised puppies or stories, and he thinks he deserves a roast? Notice how I am pointedly ignoring him.
pharyngula | May 25, 2006…the complete Calvin and Hobbes online.
Hell is the fact that this looks like a violation of copyright and probably won't be up for long.
(via unfogged)
oracknows | May 21, 2006It's Sunday. Time for silly Internet tests:
Your Blogging Type is Confident and Insightful
You've got a ton of brain power, and you leverage it into brilliant blog.
Both creative and logical, you come up with amazing ideas and insights.
A total perfectionist, you find yourself revising and rewriting posts a lot of the time.
You blog for yourself - and you don't care how popular (or unpopular) your blog is!
What's Your Blogging Personality?
Obviously this test doesn't take Orac's fixation with EneMan and the Hitler Zombie into account!
Whatever my true style is, having done mostly pieces…
grrlscientist | May 20, 2006Honestly, how can the current administration ignore evidence such as this??
This amusing photograph has been recently making the rounds in email, so of course, I am happy to share it with you here. Although, if I had made this image, I would not have used the word "proof" in the caption since science discovers new knowledge, it does not prove anything; mathematics does, though.
Thanks, Dawn!
tags: humor, politics, global warming
oracknows | May 19, 2006Uh-oh.
Periodically, via Sitemeter, I like to check out what sorts of searches are leading people to my humble blog.
Recently I noticed one coming here from Italy via a Google search for "giant enema." Number two on the search list was this post.
I'm guessing my Seed overlords are probably relieved that the post to which that search led was on my old blog, not the current incarnation of Respectful Insolence. (Or maybe not. After all, traffic is traffic.) Me, I'm curious why someone in Italy is searching the web for giant enemas. Maybe EneMan would like a trip to Europe.